and so it is...

Yet another reason to love Neko Case

2009-01-14T23:22:00.005-05:00

It's been ages since I posted on here and we have a ton to catch up on folks (short version -> Mr. B falls in love, Mr. B's bf gets a job in MN, Mr. B moves to MN to be with bf, a year goes by, blah, blah, blah, Mr. B is single and sad).... but all that catch up can wait....for now we have some good news to talk about....

As if there weren't enough reasons to absolutely love Neko Case, she recently gave us one more...

She's released the first single from her Middle Cyclone album that's due out on March 3rd. The single People Got A Lot of Nerve is out on her website and downloadable for free (download here). New Neko always makes me happy so that alone is pretty cool news.

But now here's the kicker - for every blog post about the single she'll donate $5 to Best Friends Animal Society, for every iLike user who posts it to their profile she'll donate a dollar.

Marketing ploy? Not at all folks - she's incredibly dedicated to the issue of animal welfare. I had the privilege of meeting Neko and Kelly Hogan (her AMAZING backup singer) this past fall while they were touring through Minneapolis. They accepted an offer to swing by the Animal Humane Society for a tour before the concert that evening. All through out the concert they would dedicate songs to the animals they met that day with things like "and this song goes out to Spike, a 4 year old lab mix who loves long walks and belly rubs". They really involved the crowd with the important work we do and encouraged adoptions and donations - at the end of the night we met many people who said they were inspired to offer their support. This is an issue that both Neko and Kelly seemed incredibly passionate about.

And while this particular promotion doesn't go to the Animal Humane Society that I work for, it goes toward the same mission - to serve the lifelong needs of homeless, neglected and abused animals. Please take a second to promote Neko, promote this single and promote the work of the organizations that support animal welfare. This is a wonderful free way to help out - but I also encourage you to consider a tax deductible donation of your very own - you can give to the Animal Humane Society, Best Friends or an animal welfare/rescue group in your local community - but please remember to support the animals that are in need.

In fact, to continue this spirit of giving, I'll make a commitment as well. For anyone who posts about this promotion of Neko's on their blog and mentions reading about it here, I'll make a $5 donation to the Animal Humane Society. I'll make another $5 donation for everyone who makes an online contribution directly to the Animal Humane Society and emails me at jfcass@gmail.com about it or leaves a message in the comments.

(btw - i read somewhere that Middle Cyclone feature guest vocals by the incredible Sarah Harmer - how much am I looking forward to this CD!!!!!)

Employed Again and Loving It!

2008-04-19T12:15:00.002-04:00

So not only can I report that I now have employment again, I actually have employment that I enjoy! I'm working at the Animal Humane Society as a Donor Relations Associate. I absolutely love it there. Granted it's only been about a month and a half but this far into my last job I was already bitter and jaded.

It's actually a nice departure from my last two gigs. While they had great benefits and a pretty fair salary, the day to day was just dreary. In my last job, I had no responsibilities and had to make up projects to do or just sit at the computer surfing the net all day. The job before that had a little bit more required of me but I essentially worked in a pressure cooker waiting for the next huge eruption from my brilliant but overly emotional and rage-aholic boss.

Now I'm working with exceptionally nice people and have real projects, real work, real responsibilities. My brain isn't stuck in idle all day just begging to be used. The days go by fast and I actually look forward to going to work. I don't dread being there or count down the minutes before I can go home. It's a wonderful feeling.

And while the benefits aren't as exceptional as my last job in the traditional sense, there are other perks that you just don't get at other places. The biggest is just having our mission right down the hall. If my energy is sinking or I'm getting frustrated with the database query not working the way I think it should I just go take a break and go see the pups. A little fur therapy goes a long way. It's so rewarding and always picks me back up.

Some examples of the heart warming things I see each day:

And since I know that seeing these vids are making you wonder "Hmmmm Mr. B, how can I get involved and contribute to this great org myself". Well funny you should hypothetically in my own mind ask. It's actually really simple because right now we're two weeks away from our largest fundraiser of the year the "Walk for Animals". I got my own little walk page up and it's quite easy to donate right right here. I've added some pics (oooh me shirtless on a beach!) and a little more information about the good work we do each day. Be sure to check it out....

Oh and Durban Bud contributed, and since you want to be like him you should too! :-)

Jesus and Weiner Poopie

2008-02-06T11:47:00.000-05:00

Ah, good midwestern drama!

Favorite Videos of the Moment

2008-01-27T19:15:00.001-05:00

Love, love, love me some Sia!!! She is an absolute blast and amazing live. She's on tour now to promote her latest release "some people have real problems" so be sure to check out her tour dates to see if she'll be coming to city near you...

the latest vid from indie princess Feist...

Not a vid but gotta do a little plug for Bob Mould's latest, District Line , out on February 5th! Pre-order here and get a little sneak peak here. His tour starts in Minneapolis on March 5th and I can't wait to see him! Check out his tour dates to see if he's playing near you.

oh yah for sure yah....

2008-01-22T01:07:00.000-05:00

Hello, hello!

So a couple minor changes since the last post...

1 - Mr. Bartender is no longer a bartender. I suppose that should create some sort of existential blogger crisis but given how often this thing has been updated I suspect my blog identity was tarnished awhile ago! I gotta admit that while I really did love bartending and it helped me come out of my shell on so many levels, I'm glad to be done with it for now. Working two jobs for the past 7 years took a toll on my personal life and was getting to be a little harder to manage than when I was 21.

And since quitting the bar felt so good, why stop there? By that I mean...

2 - Mr. Bartender is totally unemployed. Yes indeed I quit my day job as well. No I didn't win the lotto, strike it big at the slots, or sleep with a rich old troll. No, no - I decided to move on.

And move on I did...

3 - Mr. Bartender moved to Minneapolis. And holy frozen fuck is it cold. As I type this its 6 degrees out which is "warm" compared to the -16 it was this past weekend. Why the hell did I move to Minneapolis you ask? Well, the boyfriend got a kick ass job offer and I came along for the ride. It's been a little bit of a bumpy ride but we got through some of the bigger potholes (inept movers and fucking comcast (comcastic my ass!) were two big ones) and are slowly getting the hang of this new city.

Homesickness has been a little issue we've both had to deal with. Luckily some of the peeps have already made plans to come and visit. Just knowing the friends are on their way helps even though it's still a little ways off. Oh and ordered some concert tickets to some shows the new few months. I plan on closing my eyes for a little bit at each one and pretend I'm at the 930 Club. Now I just need to find a room full of shirtless furry men dancing and kissing so I can pretend I'm at Blowoff!

More to come later, but for now I'm signing off to cuddle up with my warm fuzzy fur ball luva...

oh for a future post perhaps, but one final observation - I think there is a reason they call it Minnesota Nice and not Minnesota Pretty.

Abused Chinese Children Attacked By Pirates Jump Roping For Jesus

2007-06-27T20:05:00.000-04:00

yeah not really much else to say

he's baaaaack.........kinda....

2007-06-19T22:58:00.000-04:00

I've decided to come out of hiding for a brief moment this evening and say hello again to the internets. y'all miss me? tonight's sneak appearance is brought to you courtesy of insomnia and my blog crush who has been prodding me for an update.

It's been so long since I wrote on here that I kinda forget what to write about. I could post about the new Hilary Clinton Sopranos spoof but I think that the fine folk here sum my thoughts up better than I could, right down to the Celine Dion disgust. Seriously there are few things in life more annoying or grating than that woman.

So let's see, maybe I should do a life update. Here's what's going on with Mr. Bartender:

* been dating a guy for 10.5 months which is a DC record for me. I have a habit of getting tired and annoyed with guys around the 1 month or 6 month mark so this is quite an accomplishment for me. Oh and for some reason he's still kinda sorta diggin' me. Odd but cool. Lots to write about him (how we met, dating, pipples popping policies, etc) but will save that for a later post...

* new day job! yay! still working non-profit, but switching outside of the arts has made a world of difference. FAR better salary, and above all a different level of respect for employees. The standard benefits are all top notch, but we also get fun perks like Fridays off in August, lunches at the Mayflower for Administrative Professionals day and my personal favorite a gym in the basement. Can i just say how amazing it is to workout during the lunch hour!?!? And it's decent enough of a gym that I canceled my Washington Sports Membership and am going to the gym 4-5 times a week instead of just 2-3.

* new job -> more money -> less dependence on bar money -> mr. bartender taking more time off from the bar and having a full weekend like "normal" people do. it's been kinda amazing. FINALLY have been able to attend blowoff which is OH SO MUCH FUN. It's Mr. Bartender's time to hang out with the fun blog boys, get half naked, and make out with the boyfriend in front of hot men, and then make out with hot men in front of the boyfriend.

* new job -> more money -> less debt! I still have TONS but I've made such good progress is trimming down the fat off those credit cards. I'd started focusing on my spiraling problem about a year and a half ago and started paying more than the minimum due and spending with debit card or cash only. Those things were great but it wasn't until the new job that I could actively and aggressively throw money at the problem and see it start to go down. Feel like it's much more manageable now.

And I guess that's it for now. Pretty lame update I know...honestly do you guys really care about my credit card debt? Nah, but maybe this post is more about getting back on the blogging horse again.

But I can't leave you without giving you ANY entertainment, so I give you a little slice of randomness that I've been playing FAR too often at the bar...

An inside look with Björk and P. Diddy

2007-01-04T15:29:00.000-05:00

LOVE IT! LIVE IT! LEARN IT!
This makes me laugh every time... so I thought I'd spread some cheer in the new 2007 year!

all i want for christmas

2006-12-20T10:32:00.000-05:00

this is all i need

Trapped in the CLAUSet

2006-12-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

Makes fun of R Kelly, Santa AND Jesus!?!?!?! - I'm in love :)

it's been one of those weeks...

2006-12-08T10:02:00.000-05:00

Anyway....here's my steamer....

2006-12-05T16:13:00.000-05:00

Richard Simmons' Exploding Steamer...

Here's to wishing you a Happy HumpDay tomorrow!

The one and only...

SASSERLICIOUS
aka:

If I have to have it stuck in my head, you should too...

2006-11-02T13:54:00.000-05:00


How many of you can still do the sign language along with this??

How much is that doggie in the window...

2006-10-30T10:12:00.000-05:00

Halloween 2006 at the Trailer Park

featuring Moo-Moo Muu-Muu Mama and Pastey the Pup

many thanks to Raul and Russ for all the pics and making this slide show

rumor has it...

2006-10-27T11:09:00.000-04:00

this gentleman stopped in the bar this past weekend and we made a pact to both update our blogs before the end of the week. I noticed he has yet to act on this promise, but I'm gonna get mine in real quick like with a rumor...

rumor has is Mr. B will be bartending in a revealing costume this evening....

Happy Halloween!

WOOF!!

Why, it's the George Allen Insult Generator

2006-10-04T15:24:00.000-04:00

click to play

What's Mr. B been up to?

2006-09-29T18:16:00.000-04:00

So last weekend, these two studs came on into the bar to enjoy a libation or two. This one pointed out that he had no idea what was going on with me as I never update the blog anymore.

Well he has a point…

Aside from the obvious, what has Mr. B been up to?

1) Work – working the two jobs has begun to take a little bit of a toll on me and my energy. Like any job, they have aspects that I love and aspects that I don’t love so much….The problem is it gets harder to ignore the things you don’t love so much when you have no time off. Sundays are my one free day which gets spend recovering from the week before…. I sometimes get what I call my Sunday Funk where I just get uber-depressed because I’m so drained and don’t handle day-to-day things so well. Luckily next weekend after the AIDS Walk I’m treating myself to a little vacation. A much needed three day break!!! I can’t wait!!!

2) Relationship – The relationship is going quite well. I’m actually quite smitten and finding myself excited and terrified and full of all sorts of really great emotions. It’s unconventional for sure, but there is such an amazing amount of honesty and communication that even the things that are uncomfortable are manageable because we can talk it through. Trust has been a big issue for me and something that has been broken many times in the past, so it’s nice to have a strong foundation of that from the get go. Lady Prada has even said “This is the most unconventional relationship you’ve been in, but also in some ways the healthiest”. I have to agree with her on that one….

3) Social – I haven’t really been going out all that much recently. Now naturally this is partly to do with the relationship, but a lot of that started even before the relationship did. A variety of factors I guess, saving money is one but just needing a break from it all is another big one. I know I sound like a bitter queen, but after awhile it just gets old. Going out and drinking just stops being fun, as does the morning after. So I’ve been actually focusing a lot of that energy into myself and trying to figure things out – small shit like ‘what should I do with my life’ etc, etc….not sure I’m close to that answer yet, but I’m at least headed in the right direction. Still MUCH to figure out, and actually the relationship has been very good for me in that front – challenging me to better myself in these areas of my life where I became very complacent.

4) Oh yeah and I’m not sure if I mentioned this but I’m doing this thing called the AIDS WALK…you should give money or sign up yourself :p

(has the horse been sufficiently beaten??)

AIDS Walk Update

2006-09-28T11:32:00.000-04:00

Hello blog-land!

I just wanted to give you all an update on how my AIDS Walk Fundraising is going.

Due to all of your generous support, I have not only met my original goal of $1,500 but have raised $2,075 (as of this posting) - placing me in the top 5 fundraisers. I am incredibly grateful for all of the assistance you have provided. The contributions given so far have been amazing (even shocking at times!). I also appreciate all the work you all have done in spreading word about the AIDS Walk to other people and signing up for the race yourself.

Not wanting to rest on my laurels, I'm raising my goal to $2,500 to raise an additional $425 in the remaining week and a half. I'm sure with your continued support I can reach (and exceed) that goal with no problem.

For those of you that have been meaning to contribute but haven't gotten around to it yet, it's not too late but we are just about out of time. Click here to be taken to my donation page.

For those of you who have already given, I again thank you for your support and ask if there are any of your friends that you can think of that may be willing to contribute as well. I'd appreciate it if you could forward this request along to them, tell them what an outstanding young lad I am (ha ha), and remind them that their donation is entirely tax deductible and goes towards a great cause.

And also a reminder that it's not too late to sign up to be on the DC Angels team and walk with us on October 7th. If you sign up for our team I pledge to be one of the first people to contribute to your own goal.

Once again I am truly amazed by all the generous support that has been shown by you all. It is greatly appreciated and words are not enough to express my gratitude.

With love,

Mr. B

(I admit to totally cheating on this blog post....the entire text is from an email i sent out to friends yesterday, just changed my fundraising amounts and new goal!)

More fun from You Tube

2006-09-22T16:17:00.000-04:00

oh have i mentioned I'm doing this years AIDS Walk and collecting $$$$

Jesus Camp

2006-09-22T13:37:00.000-04:00

this is frightening....

Depressing Statistic Thursday!

2006-09-21T11:31:00.000-04:00

From yesterday's Wash Post...

City Tests Reveal Infection Rate Double the U.S. Average

Click here to sign up for the DC AIDS Walk. If you want to walk with me I'm on the DC Angels team - I'll even be your first donation.

Click here to sponsor me.

How to steal an election

2006-09-14T17:23:00.000-04:00

explains a couple things, huh?

anywho - our Diebold Elected President loves Matt Lauer's Abs...

not that i blame him...

Who knew he was such a DILF!

WOOF!

27

2006-09-05T09:36:00.000-04:00

Today marks my 27th birthday.

I like to view birthdays the way most people view New Years. It's a time to review where I've been, what I've learned, what I should have learned, the highs, the lows, the growth i've made, the regression i've made, the experiences i've welcomed into my life, the ones i shied away from, etc....

It's also a time to make resolutions and set new goals for the coming year. To continue to look at the difference between where I am and where I'd like to be - at least to the extent that I've figured out where I want to be.

A lot of this year was realizing that in a lot of ways I just don't know where that is.

It's been a year of questioning what I thought I knew. Realizing that sometimes the ground I stand on isn't as firm as I thought it was. Discovering that things are in a constant state of change - fast or slow it's always there. Learning that worrying and 'what ifs' have dictated my life for too long - as has living in the past while trying to control the future.

I feel I'm walking into this new year with a better perspective on things. Certainly feeling like I'm in a better head space than I've been in for the bulk of this year - therapy helps with that. Some new changes for the new year are already under way - new roommate and a new relationship which is entirely new territory for me on so many levels. I see 27 as my year for exploration. A year to do my best at letting go of expectations and appreciate things for how they really are and not how I want them to be.

Oh and in following a tradition I started last year, I've made a birthday mix to commemorate the experiences I've had in the previous year. All the songs reflect in some small way the events of my 26th year on this planet. The first track, Rilo Kiley's "Better Son/Daughter" ( lyrics ) probably best summarizes my year on the whole. It starts on pretty melancholy, but ends on an uplifting note - just like this past year......

Tracklisting:

01. Rilo Kiley – A Better Son/Daughter
02. Jem – Save Me
03. Anna Nalick – Consider This
04. Tegan and Sara – I Hear Noises
05. Leona Naess – All I Want
06. Jenny Lewis and The Watson Twins – You Are What You Love
07. Dolly Parton – Both Sides Now
08. Martha Wainwright – When The Day Is Short
09. Neko Case – Hold On, Hold On
10. Nina Simone – Save Me
11. Peaches – Fuck or Kill
12. The Decemberists – 16 Military Wives
13. Alison Krauss – My Poor Old Heart
14. Sarah McLachlan – Dear God
15. Hard-Fi – Help Me Please
16. Aimee Mann – It's Not
17. Feist (with Broken Social Scene) – Intuition
18. Tegan and Sara – This is Everything
19. Gemma Hayes – Work To A Calm
20. The Concretes – You Can't Hurry Love
21. Rilo Kiley – More Adventurous
22. Damien Rice – Cannonball

the parentals....

2006-08-19T11:43:00.000-04:00

my parents arrived in town yesterday....they are here until Wednesday...

As much as I complain about them to my friends, it is nice to see them. By tomorrow evening though I'm sure I'll ready for them to be back on the plane! So far things have gone well...Although they have called me a bit of a snob. Therefore I bit my tongue when they suggested TGIFridays for dinner. ugh. I'm off from the bar tonight and Mrs. Jesus is cooking them dinner. I've given my friends a list of topics that are off limits. Clearly they know I'm gay but they don't need to know the full details.... Should be interesting what kind of stuff will come up. I'm finding myself push the boundaries a little bit with them. Testing the waters...we'll see how much they can take...

They even came to the bar briefly last night....was a little nervous but they handled it quite well... not sure if they noticed a certain barback's t-shirt that said "Mary Had A Little Lamb" with an accompanying cartoon of Mary getting her pussy plowed by a lamb. Nice.....BTW - my mom's name is Mary...

anyway...

Sorry for the downer post last week or two weeks ago or however long it's been...things are betterish. Things with the new guy are going well and so i've been smiling a lot as a result of that. The other stuff is still there, but gaining new perspectives on it. The new guy is helping with that too - he's really challenging me in the best possible ways. Plus he doesn't let me get away with being down on myself - that's a good thing. He even has me believing some of the good things he says about me. Why can believing good things about yourself be so hard to hear? accept? believe? Shame how we allow our self-esteem to get so battered like that....

Anyway....it's going well...i'm terrified about this whole process but exhilarated at the same time.... there are a lot of things about him that is brand new territory for me and contrary to what I used to want. Over the past year though I've really began to question what it is that I want and I'm re-exploring. Keeping - or trying to keep - an open mind. If it doesn't work out I hope to at least walk away with a better sense of who I am and what I need. So far it's been amazing and my open mind has just been blown away!

(an added plus is this is without a doubt the best sex i've ever had in my life)

is this really my first drunk posting?

2006-08-06T05:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure where to begin with this post....I guess the best place is to admit it's 5 something in the morn and it's been a long day in a series of long days. Not necessarily in a bad way, some of the long days were filled with good things - some filled with not-so-good. There's a balance in there somewhere....bottom line is that I've been a bit lax in my blogging because there's been a lot going on that just feels a bit uncomfortable to post about so I end up not posting at alll.......give me some booze though and it all comes out....so here it is...

So yeah, 5 sometime AM, I've been bartending all night and I'm slightly tipsy and going to pour myself another cocktail now to get me through this post...

ahh....bacardi and diet now in front of me now....why end a good buzz when so many thoughts are flying in my mind - might as well update a woefully neglected blog :

Speaking of alcohol abuse - which cleary i'm engaging in at the moment - my sister is an alcoholic - a occasionally suicidal alcholic....it's been several months since i last spoke to her sober....our last conversation - while she was trashed - she confessed her anger for a multiitude of things - but the predominant one being that she played the roll of bad kid, while i played the role of good kid. A casting that according to her had been in place since childhood and continues today - even to the point that my brotherly concern for her well being was viewed as more about me playing the role of "good brother" than someone who actually cared about the well being of his suicidal and alcholic sister. She resented the fact that I reached out to her more while she was in trouble than I did when she was fine.... And truth be told I can get where she's coming from, but honestly don't know what to do at this point - i can't change the past so do I just make myself unavailable now that there's a problem so I don't seem inconsistent??

And all of this got me thinking to the roles that we play in life.....my gut reaction when she said I was continuting to play the role of "good son" was that I wasn't playing any role - i was living my life - i was being me. I am a person who cares about the well being of the people around him - it has nothing to do with a role. But as I think (dwell?) on it more I question how much her statement might be true. I do know I have a tendancy to give more of myself than is healthy. I fit far too easily into the caretaker roll at the detriment of my own sanity and well being. I'm improving on finding the balance and ensuring I don't give too much of myself - but I do wonder how much of this behavior stems from a childhood framed in a background of a rebelious older sister who couldn't do anything right so i felt I wasn't allowed to do anyting wrong. Maybe I am enternally trying to be the good son.....

who the fuck knows....but honestly, is a life of trying to do the right thing such a bad thing? The lesson I've had to learn though is that the right action isn't always what it appears to be on first assesment. It's isn't about appeasing those around you, it's about doing the thing you know to be the true right action - regardles if it causes hurt feelings.....

Also on my mind a lot recently is that another person that I've grown to care for has recently tested positive. So an old issue from the past rears its ugly head and once again i'm feeling like the 22 year old kid struggling to maintain a healthy attitude towards sex when I'm once again reminded of the reality that sex can be fatal. And trying not to let my old issues interfere with my objectivness in the current situatino. The new person's diagnosis was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and I'm now back in therapy. Between family issues, pos friend & old associations, and my struggle to determine what I want and need out of life I decided it was time to check in to see someone..... Overall I think I'm handling all of the things on my plate pretty well, but you know - sometimes it jsut all feels like too much....

Luckily it's not all doom and gloom....but I need to make sure I see the good things for what they are....there's a new crush in my life...in some ways it feels like perfect timing so I have something that makes me smile while I'm sorting out the other things that are going on - on the other side I have no idea if i'm in a place to offer much of myself to another person when I'm so confused with where I'm at. The good thing is that our first date was amazingly open - we laid out a lot of our issues in a very uncharacteristic way for a first date. I shared a lot of my bullshit trust issues, pace issues, family issues, etc....and he didn't go running....he shared some of his own and i didn't go running....it's a nice basis to start things....but i'ts only been one date so the cart is way before the horse.... so much more to find out about him, and i'm really scared about giving too much of myself when i already feel so vulnerable because of these outside issues. How open do I let myself become to getting hurt again in a relationship when there's this other stuff already beating at my psyche? But on the other hand, how open do I let myself become to the possiblilty of finding somene that I really connect with and can share and connect with my issues.. it's so hard to say....so scary to think about.... I don't do needy well and I don't to vulenarbality well - i hate being that guy....

but yet here i am - 5 something in the morning - tired, tipsy and confused as hell. I don't know what the next step is....An epithany I had the other day in the suana at the gym was that I don't have control over a lot fthis. I was sitting there trying to figure out what to do. And then it dawned on me - maybe theres nothing to do - honestly I can't take away my friend's HIV - I can't take away my sister's alcoholism. They exisit and the only thing I can do is support them and not enable any behaviors that are a detriment to them. And I guess the same is true on the relationship front - the new crush could turn into something, it might not - but it's either there or it's not. Obessing or overthinking things isn't going to change the possibilites of this turning into a realtonship. All I can do is to continue to be the honest and upfront about who I am and what I have to offer - either it fits or it doesn't. The difficult thing is to not get overly exicted as this plays out.....to not use these good feelings as a reprieve from all the negative shit that surronds me at the moment - to embrace the reality of the moment and not give too much....

i dunno....i think tipsy has turning into drunk now and it's time to crash....vulnerabilities be posted as are.....mr. b has issues - not a shock to anyone i'm sure :) we all do....

Sugar Tits

2006-08-01T16:45:00.000-04:00

Today is all about the Sugar Tits

Mr. Bartender Walks

2006-07-25T15:44:00.000-04:00

I just signed up for the AIDS Walk. Trying to think of any ideas to encourage folks to pay up. Maybe I can agree to bartend one night and shed a piece of clothing for every XX many dollars raised. Although is it a good idea to scare people in the name of charity? Hrmmm...doubtful.

Anyone with good ideas? Some incentive I can give people if they give the most $$ or if I reach a certain goal??

Anyway if you want to support me click here

Presidential Massage

2006-07-18T13:20:00.000-04:00

Oh George - you sure do know how to impress the ladies

Video here via Crooksandliars

Mr. Bartender's Book Club

2006-07-13T16:44:00.000-04:00

Special thanks to Josh for sending these my way :)

Peaches

2006-07-07T13:03:00.000-04:00

"I’d rather fuck who I want than kill who I am told to

Let’s face it, we all want tush
If I’m wrong, impeach my bush

Impeach my bush
Impeach Bush "

Peaches new CD "Impeach My Bush" out Tuesday, June 11

Fuck or Kill.mp3
mp3 originally found here

Henry Rollins

2006-06-15T14:48:00.000-04:00

If being so freakin' hot wasn't reason enough to love him, this clip gives you all the reason you need to love Henry Rollins.

I love John Stewart!

2006-06-09T10:45:00.000-04:00

What makes me happy, what makes me sad...

2006-06-01T16:18:00.000-04:00

Happy - This article makes me feel better about not being able to buy a place of my own.

Sad - My dad is now at the age where he needs to endure a colonoscopy. I am now at the age when I need to endure conversations with my dad about his colonoscopy.

Mr. Bartender Visits The Hospital

2006-05-31T15:29:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, Mr. Bartender allowed his chest to play social secretary for the day and it arranged an afternoon field trip to the emergency room! Some things I learned that day:

The Quickest Way to Get to a Hospital

Scenario 1 - Clutch pounding & aching chest and walk to GW Hospital. estimated transit time - 10 min

Scenario 2 - Call the on site EMTs at work. Wait 10 minutes. EMT's arrive and ask if you want an ambulance. You say no that a friend will drive you. EMT's inform you a friend can't drive you and they have to call an ambulance for you. You wonder why they even asked if you wanted an ambulance if you had no say in the matter, but you are too sore to argue.

Wait 20 min. Firemen arrive & discuss with on site EMT's their respective weekend cookout plans. Wait 10 min. Ambulance arrives. Gurney rolls through the door. You insist you can walk, they insist you don't. Roll out of work on a gurney. Sit in ambulance while various vitals are taken. Wait 30 min. Drive to Washington Hospital Center 15 min. estimated transit time - 1 hour 20 min

Leaving Work With A Bang!

While Scenario 1 above gets you to the hospital quicker, it doesn't quite have the same flair that Scenario 2 does. Stumble out the door and walk to the hospital hardly anyone will notice ya. If you wait around as the medical personnel begin to arrive, you allow time for gossip to simmer down the hallways. By the time they're rolling you down the hallway people have heard about your impending death and can be outside to wave goodbye to your sorry ass. Bonus points for running into as many Vice Presidents as possible on the way out. I got up to three!! Oh and the embarrassment you feel...I'm guessing that'll go away in about a week or so when people stop coming by to find out what the hell happened.

Providing an Education to the Emergency Personnel of Today and Tomorrow

Another rewarding thing about riding in the Ambulance is that you get the opportunity to assist in the training of the EMTs. This is their chance to figure out the intricacies of real life that they apparently just don't teach in med school.

For example the correct location for the adhesive electrodes they put on ya for the EKG machine. All you need to do is lay there as they apply and RIIIIIP off electrodes until they get them adjusted to just the correct location. Plus you get to learn facinating information as the intructor says things like "now you'll want to place this one about an inch below the nipple, if he was a woman and her breasts were off to the side you'd want to visualize in your mind where the nipple would be".

It's also a good chance for them to practice setting up an IV drip. Now needles in my arm don't bother me all that much from a pain perspective, I just can't handle the visual of it. So I didn't watch that process but I'll relay some of the conversation I overheard:

Instructor: "wow there ain't no missing those veins....Ray Charles would be able to see those things"

Trainee: "you'll feel a slight prick"

Instructor: "good job....now just adjust the....oh no,...no....not like that...."

Trainee: "uhhhh"

Instructor: "nope now I knew that was gonna happen.......(to me) - looks like you're gonna have to get a new work shirt (back to Trainee) Now when you do that you need to apply pressure down here to prevent the blood spurting out like that. Pressure right here (presses down on my newly bloodied and sore arm)

Mr. B internal monologue: "ow"

Trainee: "here?" (presses down on my newly bloodied and sore arm)

Mr. B internal monologue: "ow"

Instructor: "yeah....here" (presses down on my newly bloodied and sore arm)

Mr. B internal monologue: "ow"

Out With The Old, In With The New

When we got to the Hospital, they decided to run some vitals of their own on me. It was apparent that the electrodes and IV drip that was hooked up in the ambulance was more out of date than the fancy stuff they have at the Hospital. So RIIIIP off came the adhesive electrodes (who needs a chest wax when you've got these bad boys!) and replaced the contraption in my arm with a brand new model. The process took a little more blood out of me, but look at that fancy contraption!!

Ain't it sexy. Totally worth laying in a small little puddle of my blood for the next couple hours. Nurses kept walking by, would see the bloodied sheets and ask if I was okay and needed someone to stop the bleeding. I assured them I was fine..

I Am, Apparently, The Gayest Thing Ever

Now as a rule of thumb, in a professional environment I may make assessments about a persons sexual orientation but don't refer to their orientation until it has been proven relevant to conversation and has been confirmed by the person in question. Now the hospital staff either doesn't follow this same rule of thumb or I am so flaming - so undeniably gay that the medical staff at the hospital had me pegged as a big ol' mo from the second they carted my ass in the door. No hinting around or questioning of my sexual orientation needed. The nurse's assistant kept asking me if Sassypants (who was kind enough to come along with me for this field trip) was my partner. The nurse declared "It's like Gay Day in here....all my patients are gay today!!!"

Hospital Visits Test Your Anorexic Abilities

This whole ordeal got started shortly after noon before I had an opportunity to eat lunch. Having a minimal breakfast that day (yogurt) it was a good opportunity to see how good I'd be at being anorexic. The verdict is I'd be AWFUL. I just love food too much and don't handle being hungry very well. I was starving when I got to the hospital and unfortunately I wasn't allowed to eat anything until after the Dr. saw me in case they needed to draw more blood (they could of course just rung out the blood from the bed sheets).... 6:30 rolled around and I finally got the thumbs up to eat. They handed me a bag with a tuna sandwich in it which was pretty awful yet tasted like the sweetest thing I've ever eaten.... If I'm ever gonna get an eating disorder I'm so choosing bulemia.

Diagnosis = Not Gonna Die

At the end of the day it turns out all is fine and healthy in my world. The chest pains were related to inflamed lung tissue and/or chest muscle that got pulled from all my hacking, sneezing and coughing a couple weeks ago when my allergies were all askew. After an echo cardiogram, EKG, cholesterol screenings, etc it's very clear my heart is in tip-top shape. Low bad cholesterol & triglycerides, high good cholesterol, strong and healthy beating heart - oh and I'm still HIV neg. So I'm taking 600 mg of ibuprofen 4 times a day for 7 days to take down the inflammation in my lungs and get me back to normal.

And all sarcasm aside, most of the people who were assisting in my care were doing a great job. The nurse was a pretty cool guy who would hide out in my room when he needed a break from his other patients. All in all things could have been MUCH worse....still I have no plans to go rushing back over ther any time soon. HUGE thanks to Sassypants for being with me through the long day which would have otherwise been intolerable. He even starved alongside me at the hospital....that's the true messure of a good friend.

some days just feel like this

2006-05-22T11:32:00.000-04:00

Friday Randomness

2006-05-12T17:12:00.000-04:00

"oh how i miss
substituting a conclusion to confrontation with a kiss
and oh how i miss
walking up to the edge and jumping in
like i could feel the future on your skin"

- ani difranco "firedoor"

1. Not to be outdone by the spring theme of really kick ass concerts (Neko Case, Feist, Jenny Lewis, Sarah Harmer, Beth Orton, Patty Griffin, etc) this summer is proving to be quite exciting. Just on the horizon we have KT Tunstall, Cat Power, Calexico, Aimee Mann, Fiona Apple (second row seats!), and just announced this week my girl Ani DiFranco. I'm in heaven!

2. Allergies have seriously been kicking my ass. It wouldn't be so bad if this spring was like most and I would just take copious amount of allergy drugs and live life in a dopey but breathable haze. Oh no, the drugs have helped keep me from being debilitated but I'm still a walking talking snot machine. It all just festers there in my sinuses until I excuse myself and spent 5 minutes and half a box of Kleenex blowing puddles of snot out of my nose. It's disgusting. Plus i think I'm getting a new rumor at the bar - my constant sniffing and excusing myself to go blow my nose just makes everyone think I have a coke problem. Nice... Dr. Appointment scheduled for Tuesday to see if I can switch meds to something a little more effective than my Zyrtec, Nasacort & Benadryl triple threat....

3. Speaking of the bar, things there have been slowing down a bit. I'm not sure if its due to the change in the seasons or if it's that now that some of the SE bars have shut down there's less of an excuse for people to trek over to the far side of town. Hope the later is not the case cause daddy gots bills to pay.... Fortunately despite smaller crowds, the people who are in have generally been the good tippers that help me keep on my new found path of fiscal responsibility. Yes, Mr. B had a come to Jesus moment and decided his debt has got to go. Plans are in progress to put an end to the monthly lube-free-anal-raping known as high interest.

4. Another thing that helps those slow nights is having some good quality peeps at your bar to help pass the time. This past weekend found the sexy bitches two nights in a row which allowed me to exchange smiles with my bisexual concert buddy :) Saturday, Carl and Tom swung by and I finally got the chance to officially meet Bob . It was a great way to get the night started. Although meeting Bob made me even more disappointed I never get to attend this Saturday night party. Seriously kids, if you're free this Saturday you should go so I can live vicariously through you. While you're at it have yourself a strong cocktail and a furry muscle bear for me :)

5) And finally, this week marked the first time in about two and a half years since I've seen the heart breaking ex. He walked past me as I was having dinner with friends Tuesday night. Didn't upset me as much as it unsettled me. As much as I've moved on from things, I think I just need to have a chance to say my piece to him. Last time I saw him I had a panic attack in the middle of CVS. Now I'm at a place where I really think I can say what I have to say and be fine. Maybe if nothing else, to let go of some of this anger I've been carrying around with me. I'm not talking some Jerry Springer chair throwing confrontation, just a frank talk about what he did and how it has affected me (for good as well as bad). Now the only question is will it be another two and a half years til I see him again?

There’s the Hill, and then there’s the hill…

2006-05-05T23:47:00.000-04:00

Tonight we ring in with Cinco de Mayo. A sort of lesser St. Patrick’s/Mardi Gras where amateurs stumble around with party hats and beads, only they look like…well…Mexican, I guess.

In the wake of immigration and more “comprehensive” immigration laws, tonight is an inadvertent and coincidental nod to an issue I would know little about, were I not just looking down from the hill on to the Hill. It was this moment, in fact, that inspired me to write to the blog—a first in a long while.

I live in the heights of Columbia, just atop 13th Street near William Cardoza High School. The busy nightlife had me driving around for several minutes trying to score parking on a street that leaves me wondering what condition my car will be in come morning. I made my way up 10th or 11th Street on the other side of the high school, climbed up Clifton and came to what I still think is the most breathtaking view of Washington. There, in panorama, unimpeded by politics, museums, grassy malls, or the ideas of a National City representing a democratic nation which thinks of itself as the leader of the free world, there sits a view like no other. With the Capitol and Washington monument seated as mere backdrop, there lies a city I’ve fallen for. Metaphors would fail to describe, let alone evoke the feelings that come over not only seeing, but owning that view. Comparably, it might be something like the little boy whom none of use saw standing behind the picturesque Marilyn Monroe as her skirt lifted from a city grate on which she stood. It was that little boy who glimpsed at the real money shot—-what we all really wanted to see and didn’t know to ask for, much more, that such a request would ever be granted.

See, I told you words would fail.

It’s 11:30 pm and I’ve had a piece of ass like I’ve never had before.

Thank you DC.

Gallery...

2006-05-05T16:38:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of Metro Weekly

"Gallery of People Mr. Bartender Will Never Sleep With"

Don't get me wrong,I support people's rights to make whatever political decisions they want. They are welcome to put their money above their morals and be Republican, but ewww what a turn-off.

A non-tipping twink has a better shot at getting laid by me than an identified Republican.

overheard at the bar....

2006-05-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

a cringeworthy comment during the invasion of the twinks on Saturday night

"well it's like this right now, but you know soon i'll be 22 and everything will be different"

insert rolling of eyes

and boys - oh i'm sorry - "bois", it's a pretty sad state when the lesbians and straight girls are tipping more than you.

"major pumping action required"

2006-04-27T12:39:00.000-04:00

.... this just seems so wrong...

Metro Weekly's new policy?

2006-04-26T11:17:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of Married to the Sea

Happy Easter From Team Lady

2006-04-14T12:08:00.000-04:00

and don't forget our friend Peter Pan

UPDATE - BEST EASTER VIDEO EVER

I'm So Excited - I'm So Scared!

2006-04-13T12:09:00.000-04:00

The passing of June Pointer got me thinking back to my favorite episode of the late 80s early 90s classic tv show - Saved By The Bell.

In this particular episode Jessie, Kelly and Lisa created a girl group called "the Hot Sundaes" for a local talent competition. Zach served as their manager and helped them produce this sexy music video:

"Put your mind to it, go for it, get down and break a sweat
Rock and roll, you ain't seen nothing yet"

Ever the over-achiever, Jessie was under incredible pressure to maintain good grades, get accepted to a good university and keep the band going. With not enough hours in the day she found herself with an addiction to no-doze pills...

All came to a head in a particularly emotional scene where Zach confronted Jessie with her addiction. She attempted to prove how okay she was by singing the Pointer Sisters "I'm so excited" until she broke down into tears with the phrase "I'm so excited.....I'm soooooo......scared".....

This poignant episode taught an important lesson on the dangers of over the counter caffeine to millions of children across this great country. Several million more across the world upon syndication and subsequent translation in various languages.

Thank you NBC for producing such ground breaking television. You truly saved me from walking down a very dangerous path...

Get your official shirt here

The smoky sky is falling...

2006-04-10T17:08:00.000-04:00

Friday night I started my shift as I always do: sitting on my cooler, reading the blade, waiting for customers to arrive. I stumbled upon this article about the closing of Lizard Lounge.

Now I've never been a huge fan of Lizard to begin with so I'm not gonna shed any tears, but something just doesn't add up with Mark Lee's story. Even if he's absolutely certain that the smoking ban will hurt his business beyond the point of making a profit, why close eight months before the damn thing even takes effect? Is he really that fired up about the cause that he's willing to give up 8 months of profit to make a point? I doubt it.... The only reason I can think of is that even without a smoking ban in effect he's not making any $$ - if you're going out of business anyway it's much easier to have someone to blame than to admit your own business was a failure.

But whatever, I for one applaud the smoking ban and can't wait til it takes effect. It's been long overdue. It'll be nice to finish a shift without burning contact lenses and blackened lungs. It'll be nice to wake up the morning after a shift and not cough up phelm from all the crap I breathed in the night before. Is it going to hurt business???? It's possible, but I'm not all that worried. If anything, I think it'll hurt the straight bars far more than the gay ones. From a gay bar perspective the only other option is Freddies in Virginia and it takes a lot to get a gay city boy to cross that river. People are still going to go out because, bottom line, our people love to get drunk and love to get laid.

If anything, it'll actually be interesting to see how the ban effects Halo. I know a couple people (myself included) that really only go there because it's smoke free. Now that my favorite bartender there is gone and all the bars will be smoke free - what reason will I have to go there anymore???

Who knows what'll happen....maybe Mark Lee is right and business will decrease, tips will be lost, the bar will close and i'll resort to turning tricks on the corner. But for now I'm thinking I've read this story before...

Random Observation

2006-04-06T17:25:00.000-04:00

The likelihood of a guy to be involved in the circuit scene is directly proportional to the number of shirtless friends in his Friendster profile.

Adventures in Bartending:

2006-04-05T12:14:00.000-04:00

1) This past Friday found a rather gregarious group of men and women in my bar. They were celebrating a birthday, but that fact alone couldn't account for the level of their mirth. Some regulars began to comment "wow they must be really drunk", but I know drunk and that wasn't it....oh no, it was something much worse - they were ACTORS!! Yes indeed, a theater troop had descended upon our bar.

I sort of have a love/hate relationship with theatre queens. One the plus side it's great to have a bar full of jovial, confident, friendly & chatty people. On the downside, the karaoke turns into all showtunes (*cringe*) and even the pop songs are sung with a musical theaterized flair. Can be great fun, but if you're not in the mood it can be torture. One highlight of the evening was a gentleman who decided to sing "What a Feeling" from Flashdance....I think he might have gotten into the song a tad bit more than he should have when he did a tribute to Jennifer Beals and poured his Vodka & 7 all over himself.... nice...

2) If you attempt to order a cocktail after last call and get denied please do not use the "you never called last call" excuse. Just because you were too drunk to hear it doesn't mean we didn't call it - the karaoke host announced it just before i starting cheering. No amount of pleading or begging will make me change my mind...you're not worth me getting fired...

3) I have been known to wear political shirts a time or two when I am out at a bar, so I won't say not to. If you do though, please be aware you may be alienating a good share of the boys in the bar - especially if you are affiliated with a party that discriminates against the gays and/or women. (for the record i save my ultra-lefty political shirts for when i'm not tending bar). A shirt that says "guns don't kill people, abortion clinics kill people" may reflect your beliefs but is certainly not the best way to get on my good side. And for the record the shirt should read "guns don't kill people, fanatical right wing christians who blow up abortion clinics kill people"

4) thanks to Jimbo for finding this great list . You are not a strong black woman. :)

Karma

2006-04-04T14:13:00.000-04:00

It's interesting how Karma works sometimes. I used to think of it as if you're good, good things come your reward, if you're bad, bad things come as punishment. The past couple weeks have shown Karma to be less about retribution and more about learning.

As mentioned earlier, a couple weeks ago I met a charming guy that became quite the mancrush. After feeling emotionally closed off and distant for awhile it was a breath of fresh air to actually be interested in someone again. It had been quite some time since I had that excitement and it felt good. For the first 3 dates it was smooth sailing, it all felt so easy and natural. Then something changed....I don't know what really. But the next date was strained and the ease of conversation faded into awkward silences. I was bothered by it but tried to write it off as a fluke. The next date however had a similar tension. Something was amiss...

Doubt settled into my mind and I began to brace for rejection. Despite my interest, there was growing distance from him. I had no idea what was going on or what I did wrong. As I was pondering and overthinking I asked myself "why doesn't he just tell me if he's not interested?" It was then and there that I had my karma moment. That was the lesson I needed to learn.

I have been known to be slow to reject a guy if I felt things weren't working. If they were assholes it was quick and easy - but the nice guys were so hard. I hated knowing that I would be hurting their feelings and so I delayed and put some distance and tried to let them down gently. What karma needed to show me was that hey it kinda sucks to know something is wrong and not know what. Spending a week or two wondering what is going on and overthinking things can be rough.....The letting down gently is anything but gentle....it can be quite the mindfuck...

So I accepted my lesson, even felt bad about how I treated one guy in particular. He was a great guy but due to some differences in our lives I didn't think it was going to work. I didn't want to hurt him and didn't want to be the asshole so I held off and was more and more distant...In retrospect my not wanting to be the asshole made me the bigger one. So I wrote him a random out of the blue apology email. Doesn't change anything really, but felt I owed it to him...

And today suspicions were confirmed, mancrush is no longer crushing on me. I'm not sure what went wrong along the way and honestly I'm not sure I want to. Maybe I'm better off saving a character flaw review for another day when my ego is more up for the task.

While I'm a bit disappointed things didn't work out I really have no room to complain, it's been a learning experience. I certainly can't fault mancrush for anything because he handled things exactly the same way as I have done in the past....right down to the 'it's a rough time in my life' email. I get where he's coming from....but it's also good that I now have perspective from the other side (not to imply I haven't been rejected many times before cause I certainly have!)

And as I said in a previous post the best thing for me personally is that knowledge that I'm not as closed off as I felt I was. It's been a long ass time since I've been excited about someone and it's good to know this heart is still beating even if it means it gets hurt every once in awhile....

Inappropriate

2006-03-29T17:44:00.000-05:00

Some inappropriate behavior observed this week:

1) Chatting about work during a burial service
2) Talking on cell phone while taking a shit in a public restroom
3) Grunting so loud and obnoxious at the gym it sounds orgasmic
4) Pink shirt with popped collar

Pink Shirt Popped Collar guy tried to order a Cosmo from me and I in good conscious could not serve him without saying anything. Conversation went like:

PSPC: "can i get a Cosmo?"
Mr. B. "how about you turn down that collar?"
PSPC: "is that some sort of dress code or something?"
Mr. B: "no, just a good idea in general"

collar got turned down and i resumed making his drink...

the giddy anticipation can commence....

2006-03-24T13:26:00.000-05:00

...now

A Fiona Apple / Damien Rice Tour is currently being scheduled for the USA for June/July this year.

They better make a non-MCI/Verizon Center appearance in DC...if anyone sees official dates posted let me know ASAP.

In other music news, Feist is releasing a remix CD next month.

and

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins were uber amazing last night. If I see a bootleg floating around I'll be sure to post it, meanwhile this should help get those unreleased songs stuck in your head.

On a sad note, last night I noticed my "loose" jeans are now fitting just a little too snug. Even worse - the only thing I could fit into my 31 waist pants this morning was my shame.

ummmm....

2006-03-23T10:25:00.000-05:00

I'm so screwed if they ever try to do this in DC....

Things that make me happy :)

2006-03-21T12:10:00.000-05:00

1) Greatest radio show ever, Morning Becomes Eclectic now available as a podcast.

2. The Threadless $10 shirt Sale

3. Seeing the man-crush tonight, seeing Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins on Thursday

Weekend recap

2006-03-20T22:01:00.000-05:00

Hey there kiddies!

I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was waaaay to short, but a nice one none-the-less.

The bar was busy both Fri & Sat nights, to the point of being record breaking. Friday night I had my personal highest ring for a Friday, Saturday I had my personal highest ring for a Saturday. Management was very happy with me and my karaoke host. We done good :)

The crowds were another story though.....great crowd on Friday including The Boy, the Drunk Girl and a slew of coworkers from my day job. Saturday was ummm....well....a bit lacking Things started off great with some guys I guilted into coming. However after their departure over to blowoff, things just took a huge spiral downwards. There was crowd of hot guys that knew they were hot. The philosophy seemed to be "oh i don't need to tip, the pleasure of serving a hot guy like me should be reward enough". Needless to say, Mr. Bartender got real cranky, real quick. My apologies to anyone that may have seen me not being my normal chipper self. It was good seeing yout boys, sorry I let the assholes taint my mood.

So sadly, while it was a record breaking night in sales, I walked away with a less than I normally do on Saturdays. There is something seriously wrong with that...

Sunday I woke up early to see one of my regulars in Shakespeare Theater's production of "Don Juan". Note to self, morality play + lack of sleep + empty stomach = bad news. The show itself was alright, but I was so not in the mindset to truly enjoy it. A matinee performance of ANYTHING on Sunday following bartending is unadvised, much less a play that features a fair share of long soliloquies on good clean moral living....

um speaking of good moral living - heh - i'm really digging this man crush guy...he kinda excites me....a lot....good to know the emotions aren't nearly cut off the way i thought they were. It's a tad bit frightening to feel certain vulnerabilites begin to expose themselves again, but it's for the best i think.... I've found the rational side of me creep every once in awhile saying 'woah, don't get too excited, get to know this guy' but then we'll have another date and it just feels right. So I'm going with it....scary though it may be, it's feels pretty freakin' great....and if it doesn't work out, then at the very least I know that I'm not fully the cynical close hearted guy I was fearing I was!!

office education...

2006-03-17T17:56:00.000-05:00

today i had to give some coworkers a brief explanation of the hanky code after i noticed an invitation for an upcoming event was printed as a red hankerchief coming out of a blue jean pocket.

I guess the recipient is left to decide if it's a left or right pocket....

Hi, remember me?? :)

2006-03-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay sorry to keep y'all in suspense...life has been going at such a fast pace lately that my fingers just couldn't keep up in documenting it all.....some highlights:

1) Early Feb I got offered (and accepted) a new position at my day job - same building, different department. They wanted me to start right away, but seeing that I was smack dab in the middle of a HUGE project I held off my start date until March 1. Two weeks into the position I gotta say it's going well. The pace is a bit slower, but I've got enough things from the old position to finish up to keep me entertained for now. I'm actually pretty pleased with things, and hey - the extra $$ is pretty nice too...

The oddest thing I've found about moving to a new position in the same building is just the insane amount of gossip that accompanies such a transition. People tend to assume the worst about the old department and start trashing my old boss, who I actually think is a great guy. Others have a thing against the new boss and make veiled and not-so-veiled comments against him. Everyone seems to have an opinion and have absolutely no problem telling me what a wonderful/awful choice I've made.

Also interesting is to see the shift in the way certain people treat me. Like most places there is a fair share of departmental fighting that goes on. My switch certainly didn't move me over to the enemy's side, but the change in camps has made some people who formerly were complete dicks to me start to be nice to me. Now I'll never be a good at office politics because the whole game just annoys me and I refuse to play. I understand having disagreements and what not, but don't think there's ever a need to take it on the personal, below the belt level. And if you do decide to do that, don't expect that we are now best friends because it's more beneficial for you now to be in my good graces. I'm not going with hold a grudge and be an ass about things, but I'm also not going to forget certain people's true colors that they've already displayed quite prominently before.

Anyway...the whole process has been very interesting to watch from a sociological perspective...I find it very amusing...

2) On the dating front there is all sorts of craziness abound. Dating seems to always be famine or feast for me...... After a long dry spell void of anyone who peaked anything more than mild casual interest I finally found someone that I was really excited to go on a date with. In fact I found TWO someones that I was excited about going on date with.

First guy things went well and I had a good time but nothing really materialized, partially due to the fact that by the time we had our second date, another guy had come along and peaked my interest...

So this other guy and I had a date and things went insanely well. The kind of date where an outsider looking in could never tell that it was a first date because everything about it was so damn easy. We instantly had great banter back and forth, fun conversation and we were both all smiles. What really threw me was the fact that the self protective barriers that I have built up over the years kinda disappeared around him. I'm not used to that so it was cool....scary but cool.

Now the kinda messed up part of all this is that these two guys know each other and I don't handle dating two guys at the same time to begin with - and certainly not when they know each other and have the same friends. It's obvious to me the second guy - we'll call him Smiles because he's got an amazingly disarming smile - is the one I want to get to know better. I see a lot of potential there and really want to see what it could evolve into. He's been occupying a lot of happy thoughts in my mind this week and hopefully I'll have more good news to report on him as time goes by :)

3) Things at the bar are going pretty well....some of the bloggers have made appearances over the past couple weeks which is always good news for me. Seriously even if things are busy and I don't get to talk to them - just seeing all these friendly faces makes any night just a little bit better. Rumor has it I may get treated by the appearance of this New Yorker before he and his crew head over to blowoff on Saturday. Haven't seen him in a while and still hoping to someday meet this guy and his man, maybe someone can convince them swing over some night - or better yet, a blog gathering where none of us are behind the bar working!

quote of the day

2006-03-06T12:16:00.001-05:00

gotta love starting off a monday morning with a caller who declares:

"if you don't know who i am, well just get your ass on google and you'll be printing out pages upon pages all about me!"

indeed...

anyway, more to come later including a recap on Mr. Bartender's new job, new first date and the hot bloging boys that came in over the weekend!

Annoying Co-Worker

2006-03-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

Hooray! Annoying Co-Worker put in his two week notice!

Crap. Now I am going to have to do his job too.

Stood Up.

2006-03-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

So I totally got stood up for a date tonight.

What makes me feel better? Ironing and listening to The Heart on XM Radio.

Thank you XM and Downy Wrinkle Release for making my crappy night better!

random emotional post

2006-02-28T12:14:00.000-05:00

It's been one of those months....the kind where you work some insane hours, exhaust yourself mentally just to have life sneak up behind ya and shove ya down on the ground emotionally.

Late last week I got word that my dad was going in for another angioplasty. It's been a little over a year from his first heart attack and despite some drastic improvements in his lifestyle he's still having continual heart problems. So he went in for another operation.

The good news is the exercise and good eating has paid off, his heart itself is strong and in good condition.

The bad news is he happens to be among the 5% of the population whose body can't handle the stents. His body has extensive scar tissue in his arteries from the stents put in during previous operations. This scar tissue has caused some significant blockage, the biggest blockage apparently can't be operated on due to it's location, the other is at 50% blockage and in 6 months to a year he'll need a bi-pass operation. The inoperable blockage will cause him ongoing chest pains for the rest of his life. There is nothing they can do to treat that, only potentially manage some of the pain with medication. Aside from the pure annoyance of having to deal with the day-to-day pain the major concern is his ability to differentiate "normal" chest pain from another heart attack and getting appropriate treatment.

All of this has chipped away yet another piece off the pillar of strength that is my mother. The woman who just 10 years ago faced breast cancer with a "I'm gonna fight this fucker" attitude has emotionally fallen to pieces at the potential of losing her husband. She's had a year to dwell on what life will be like without him. She has nightmare flashbacks to the morning when she witnessed him passing out in church, certain he was dead. Conversations with her over the year have reoccurring themes of "life is short and we could die at any moment". While I'll admit some of her reaction has spawned some practical & healthy actions (buying of their burial plots, increasing their life insurance, etc) it's hard seeing her dwelling so much on death that she almost forgets their lives.

And aside from the usual emotional crap that comes when you're thinking about the mortality of your parents there's a good share of guilt. Being thousands of miles away just feels so useless. Not being able to be there for them is hard, especially when the entirety of that burden falls onto my sister's shoulders when she's already facing an incredibly rough year of her own.

It's also guilt inducing to think that in the year since his heart attack all attempts at creating a relationship with my father have just failed. We've both tried in our own ways to establish some sort of connection but I guess we didn't just try hard enough. I have no malice or anger at him - I had a good childhood, two parents that are still married to each other, and both accepted me when I came out to them. Sure they made some mistakes along the way, but honestly they always did the best they could. I can't point to a single reason why I don't have a relationship with this man, I just never have as long as I can remember. It's never really bothered me until moments like these where I question what I should be feeling for someone that I love but don't really know. It's so confusing to even get my head around it all....

What's a Rilo Kiley fan to do???

2006-02-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

March 23, 2006

Rilo Kiley band member Jenny Lewis plays at the Birchmere

also on March 23, 2006

Rilo Kiley band member Blake Sennett opens for The Magic Numbers with his side project band, The Elected at the 9:30 Club

What's a Rilo Kiley fan to do?? Clone myself so I can be two places at once?!?!

I have already purchased my Jenny Lewis tickets so I guess the decision has already been made, but seriously what awful timing...

Maybe Jenny and Blake will meet up for a cocktail after their performances...

*sigh*

oh well...

(oh and for the record I behaved and went to bed last night, which was good as I got an emergency phone call at 8:15 this morning. Ugh...is it March yet?? And why do I feel like I have a hangover even though I didn't have a drop to drink last night???)

Delima

2006-02-19T00:33:00.000-05:00

I just got home from a 14 hour day working my "real" job...

That meant I took off the bar...

It's 12:30 on a Saturday night....i never have a Saturday night off from the bar....

On one hand, I'm physically and mentally exhausted and should go to bed, especially when more work awaits me tomorrow.

On the other hand, I've been void of social functions over the past couple weeks and want to make the most of a Saturday night off...

How should I spend the next 2 and a half hours - drinking or sleeping...

My decision to come in a future post...

To Do List

2006-02-18T00:18:00.000-05:00

1. Preorder the new Neko Case CD "Fox Confessor Brings The Flood" released on March 7th.

2. Dust off the credit card and prep to use it for tickets to Neko Case at the 9:30 Club on April 9th once they go on sale.

3. Read a review and follow various links guilt free...

VD kinda itched and burned...

2006-02-15T14:10:00.000-05:00

Hey kids.....remember me?? Yeah I've been a bit out of commission for a little bit and probably will be for a little bit longer. Just wanted to drop a quick line to vent and get a little distraction from work.

So things have gotten all insane and busy like at work. All sorts of happenings and stuff going on which has made life outside of work almost non existent. I feel so socially disconnected from the world. Haven't seen my friends in ages, haven't hung out in a bar other than my own, and sadly even missed some events that I had every intention of attending.

I've been holding up pretty well through it all but last night on the walk home too many thoughts were flooding through my head and for just a moment I allowed myself to fall for all the stupid Valentine's Day bullshit. Just as I was about home I sent the following text message to some of my friends:

"It's Valentine's Day and I'm walking home from work at nearly 11 PM and picking up carryout for one....How incredibly single do I feel"

I wallowed in my loneliness for a bit but my frustration in allowing myself to fall victim to the stupid Valentines Day bullshit hype annoyed me even more. Luckily the text message responses back from my friends helped put a smile on my face, as did the combination of watching The Daily Show while downing some tasty thai food from Simply Home Cuisine .

Still I'll be glad when March gets here - although I may still be single, I'll at least have some form of socialization back into my life. And there ain't nothing wrong with being single when you're in the company of good friends...

Gun's Don't Kill People...

2006-02-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

Vice presidents kill people

on the music front...

2006-01-26T13:52:00.000-05:00

i get seriously depressed when google talk pops up with an email like this:

*sigh*

once you blog about loving Pink and American Idol, it's all downhill from there...

It should be said though that it was a good week for music releases:

Cat Power - The Greatest

Jenny Lewis (of Rilo Kiley fame) & The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat

The Elected (fronted by another member of Rilo Kiley, Blake Sennett) - Sun, Sun, Sun

and a good week to buy music tickets:

Beth Orton @ 9:30 Club - March 12, 06

Jenny Lewis & Watson Twins @ The Birchmere - March 23, 2006

Apparently I like American Idol....

2006-01-25T17:49:00.000-05:00

...well at least the first episodes where they audition people. I've never watched any of the past couple of seasons, but for some odd reason I caught at least part of the past three episodes and loved it. It's like an hour long special of what it's like to work at a karaoke bar. People who think they are the shit get up there belt out some god-awful tune. What makes it fun for me is watching Simon and gang get to say what would only result in a decline in tips for me. Ahhh, what a joy to see these deluded people get a reality check.

My favorites are of course the people who go in bragging about the "awards" they've won from karaoke competitions and get up there and can't hit a single note. The thing about karaoke it's intended for drunken fun (as I've previously ranted about before) not to be taken too seriously. Okay sure maybe you won a bar tab one night by singing your soulful rendition of "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" to a room full of drunk people but that does not mean you have talent. When doing karaoke the bar is set pretty damn low...if you hit half of the right notes you're doing better than most. Please don't ever use karaoke as the gauge to see if you really have talent. Oh and that guy who said you were amazing - yeah he just wanted to fuck you. Like declarations of love, take compliments from drunk people with a grain of salt....

(side note - i am truly frightening i have admitted love for a Pink video and American Idol in the same day.....what on earth is happening to me?!?!? )

Um.....

2006-01-25T12:38:00.000-05:00

...i can't believe I'm loving a Pink video, but honestly anything that makes fun of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, etc, etc is alright in my book....

Distracted

2006-01-24T17:01:00.000-05:00

Sorry kids for falling out of sight in the blog land....life has been a bit busy lately and free time hasn't exactly been in abundance lately. Not many of my distractions are very blog-worthy, except for the distraction of the past weekend...

The Colin Farrell sex tape...

Yum.

Now it's far from a perfect. The cinematography is kinda poor, mainly focused on body parts as opposed to Colin on the whole and no money shot, but I must admit I love this find. It made a quick transformation from a download on my computer to the newest addition to my video iPod.

I think this film was made during the Daredevil era which is why he's sporting the bald head

Other parts of him were less bald which caused the girl he was with to have some accidental flossing...Colin busted out with this gem after her third stop to pick a stray out of her mouth:

"it's like you've going fishing for fucking pubes you're just catching every fucking pube i have...by the end of this morning we won't need to fucking shave me, they'll be none left"

oh he's such a sweet talker....other verbal highlights include

"if this camera could blush it'd be so fucking red that's how hot you are"

"holy shit I didn't know they made bastards as sexy as you man" (i pretend he's saying this one to me)

"this has got to the be the shabbiest fucking photography in the history of fucking porn but you know what? I could give a fuck"

All of this said with his sexy ass accent....oh colin....even when you're dirty you're ever so dreamy...

Life outside of porn has been going well too....Great weekend at the bar - we got a new 50 inch plasma screen tv, it was busy both nights and made some good $$$$. Can't complain at all about that.

It was also the second week in a row I'd been asked the question "are you Mr. Bartender???" - a question that throws me every time. I'm not quite sure why...maybe because when I get recognized I immediately think back to the most embarrassing post I had written. Sure people who know me think nothing of me transcribing Colin Farell quotes from his sex tape, but what about the person I'm meeting right now.

Anyway, the two guys I met this weekend actually seemed like cool peeps (I mean naming your blog after a tori amos song is more than alright in my book!). Hopefully my awkward & reluctant response wasn't misinterpreted. I'm always glad to meet more quality people :)

Mr. Ipod / Mr. Weather Forecaster

2006-01-18T09:06:00.000-05:00

So this morning, IPOD played Patty Griffin's "Rain" and Bill Wither's "Ain't No Sunshine."

Do you think he knew I was getting soaked on the walk to work?

Weekend Recap

2006-01-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

1) Friday night at the bar a customer pointed out to me that I hadn't thoroughly thought out my t-shirt selection for the evening. Given recent events I should have waited a bit longer before wearing this shirt again. Amazing how easily it can change from a play on words joking about pedophilia to being a shirt about necrophilia.

2. Also on Friday I learned that the iPod update that was released earlier last week and that I had installed the night before was seriously flawed. It created more bugs than it solved. About half of the videos would only play for about 30 seconds, skip and then start playing again without sound. So here's a word of warning for you video iPod owners - don't do the upgrade just yet - hold off until Apple gets their shit together.

If you were like me and installed before you found out about all the problems, go to the second page of the link above. Someone writes in about how to revert back to the old version - worked like a charm for me and baby iPod is functioning again in all her glory.

3. Sat night started off nicely with some deliciously wrong episodes of Drawn Together and the arrival of Sean , Headwound Gymnast, Scott and a bunch of others whose names escape me. They hung out for a round or two and departed just as Mrs. Jesus , The Boy , and Chip arrived. More good times were had until they left and then the good times DIED. As 2 AM approached I looked around and realized that every customer in there was annoying the fuck out of me one way or another. "oh there's a bad tipper, oh look there's a no tipper, oh and here we have Mr. order a drink and then disappear, oh yay the jackass who screams at me every time he's finished his beer is still here - wooo" I got cranky and counted down minute by minute until I could call last call. It felt like it'd never come...

4. Sunday night I finally was able to participate with the leather weekend festivities as the gang headed on out to the Reaction dance. Now Nation isn't normally my scene and I am awful at dancing, but I had a such a great time. After about half an hour I felt so emboldened to take my shirt off and danced until the wee hours of the morning... Finally met this guy and we shook our tail feathers with him for a bit. Also ran into some unexpected non-blog folks that made me smile all night long. Great times!!!

Never Nude vs. Always Nude

2006-01-13T16:54:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week I read this blog about annoyance with people who are afraid to get naked at the gym - or as they'd be called on Arrested Development - Never Nudes. While I admit that these people get far too sensitive about being naked, they aren't really annoying to me - if anything I find them mildly amusing. No, the people that bother me aren't the Never Nudes, it's the Always Nudes.

Every gym has one or two of these guys and I've seen much more of them lately. New Years doesn't just bring out the people ashamed of their bodies, it also brings out the people who love to flaunt it - whether they should or not. This week I've seen the following:

* A guy who wears short shorts and no underwear. In between sets I looked around and saw him stretching/doing abs on the mat. His balls were in clear view for all to see - smooth and wrinkly like the rest of him.

* A guy hanging out naked and semi-hard in the locker room when I arrived at the gym and still there lingering by the time i finished working out. He was never spotted doing any actual form of work out - in fact, by the looks of things he hadn't actually worked out for at least 20 some years....

* Two separate guys that felt the shower curtain was too prohibiting so they left them wide open. While watching a guy get all wet and soapy can be hot in the right circumstances - this was not one of them. Seriously I don't want the soapy water from washing your ass to be splashing on me as I'm walking on by. Not so hot...

And the thing about all of these guys is that they weren't exactly what I'd consider attractive. Every single one of them was 50 or above and over weight. One had a bush so thick that it covered all but for the very very tip of his penis. Now far be it from me to judge too harshly on body-types because I by no means am claiming to have a flauntable body myself - but the difference is I'm not flaunting mine. I work out, get naked, shower, get clothed and go home. If you wanna flaunt what you don't necessarily got, you should "workout" over at the Crew Club - who know you may even get laid.

Bottom line is the Never Nudes need to give the Always Nudes some of their modesty, and the Always Nudes need to give some of their misguided self-image to the Never Nudes.

Old Post

2006-01-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

I found this old post in my journal from November 2003. I have come a long way, baby.

I have given up the ghost... have I?

So what a day yesterday! I finally got all strong and deleted the ex off of my IM Buddy List. I thought it would be good for me to not know when he is on-line. It would help me feel less dependent on him (even though we have been broken up forever). I wanted it to help me move on. I did it. All gone. Off the list.

And then...

Mr.Bartender and I decided to go out last night. We headed up to TomTom to have a few drinks with Prada and then down to JR's to see Little Sparrow. That is when the text messaging starting coming from the ex. It starts out with questions like, "why do you only call me when you are drunk." Bull shit like that. I dodged his questions for a little while and when it got to be too much, I told him to stop contacting me, period. I am so sick of him being shady and never owning up to it. At least when I am shady, I own up to it. I know when I am being passive/aggressive or when I am being manipulative. I honestly think that the ex has no clue about what he is doing but he needs to cut it out. Back to the story: Then Mr.Bartender and I deleted his number out of my phone and did a few shots. Talk about ruining a nice evening out.

But of course that is not the end of the story...

Everyone who knows me knows that I can't let it end there so I call him when I get home (clearly stood outside because I had to smoke through this conversation). It was if we were breaking up all over again. We re-hashed the whole break-up. We blamed each other for all of the same crap that we blamed each other for before. Then we hit a breaking point. I finally was able to explain my feelings and the reason why I broke it of in a way that made sense and not take his crap for the way I felt. I think he finally understood me. We left the conversation on a slightly sour note but now the ball is in his court. I told him that I would not contacting him anymore. If he decides that he wants to contact me or do something with me, it is all up to him. He can call and make the arrangements. If he wants, he can prove that I am more important than his job.

(big sigh)... it had to be done. I need to let go.

Leather Weekend

2006-01-12T15:50:00.000-05:00

HAPPY MAL!!

Tinkerbell

Restaurant Week with Co-Workers

2006-01-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how tacky some of my colleagues can be when we go out to lunch for Restaurant Week!

So today we decided to go to The Grill at the Ritz Carlton. I am thinking, “Sounds like fun… let go be ladies who lunch… chardonnay and Cobb salads.”

It all started when the organizer of our group never called to change the reservation from eight to six. Needless to sat, the snotty hostess gave us quite the look. (No big deal though… she adjusted and we got our seats quickly). Next thing you know, another colleague is asking the water guy for the Restaurant Week menus. I politely comment that we should just wait for our server. Next thing you know, he stands up and is flagging down a server to ask for the stupid Restaurant Week menu. I quickly turn red and excuse myself to the restroom. Most of the lunch goes fine until it is time for the bill. The same colleague wants again raises his hand and snaps at the waiter. All I could do was roll my eyes only to get caught by my manager.

Things That Make ME sad...

2006-01-09T22:00:00.000-05:00

I just lost my whole damn blog entry to some God-damn pop up screen that I enabled.

I had a whole entry on Emily Rose. Dammit to hell. Just rent the film, for God's sake.

"One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six..."

Things that make me sad

2006-01-06T10:00:00.000-05:00

1. The dead cat that lay on the sidewalk across the street from me for 3 days.
2. Finding a missing cat sign in front of my apartment yesterday.
3. Carrying Deer Park 3 gallon water bottles up my 3 story walk-up and being out of breath.
4. Seeing my long-standing secret crush (5 years now) on the metro and he didn’t even notice me.
5. Dry cleaning.
6. Aimee Mann’s cover of River.

Question on my mind...

2006-01-05T15:08:00.000-05:00

As a self described music whore I have a great level of gratitude to the artists that have provided me with a soundtrack to my life. I like to express that gratitude by supporting the artists for the music they make by going to concerts and legally purchasing their music whether it be via CD or a paid download.

I have found myself wondering though what is the best way to financially support an artist when it comes to buying their music? Specifically, of the options listed below - which one gives the most $$ back into the hands of the artists?

Option 1: Purchasing a physical CD at music store*
Option 2: Purchasing off of one of the major download site (iTunes, Rhapsody, etc.)
Option 3: Downloading off of my fav music site - emusic.

* I'm pretty sure buying CDs at concerts is the best option because aside from the small percentage that goes to the venue, the artists get most of the $$ that would normally go to your best buy or amazon. BUT I've removed that option from the running because generally I'm all about instant gratification and want a CD as soon as it's released and not have to wait until the next time said artist comes into town....that being said though a great opening act is generally gonna motivate me to explore the merch table...

Some thoughts/questions:

* a lot of times for artists I really love I'm gonna want the physical CD anyway. There's nothing quite like having a full collection of great CDs to display. I have been known to buy a physical CD after I've fallen in love with my downloaded copy of it...

* emusic has been a great source for me to really get to discover artists that I may have heard of but never really heard. I went there for the 50 free downloads, but stayed for the diverse selection of indie music. I think they are a great resource to increase an artist's exposure.

* As great as emusic is for artists to reach new audiences, I wonder how much $$ they really make off it though. I'm paying 25 cents a download vs. iTunes 99 cents. Does that mean the artists get less of a kick back or does emusic just grab less of a share of the profits than iTunes does?

So I'm hoping one of these guys could some day in passing ask this guy to offer some insight and report back to me. Specifically I wonder what option gives him the most $$ - cds, iTunes or emusic?

Oh that Elmo...

2006-01-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

"ha ha ha - who wants to die?"

some randomness...

2006-01-04T13:49:00.000-05:00

1. While doing some last minute Christmas shopping I was in a store that specialized in kitschy items. I found a hand towel that would be a perfect gag-gift for a friend of mine. It was a towel with a little cartoon picture of a sperm on it. I also found a kitschy little item for myself - a plush doll Jesus. I went to the register and the cashier was all excited to see my Jesus purchase. She told me how much she loved Jesus, she loves his work and she wants to buy a "Jesus is my homeboy" shirt. I thought she was on the same kitschy Jesus page as me - but as I soon found out - I was mistaken. She put Jesus in the bag and went to ring up my other purchase. She took one look at the cum towel and turned to another employee "oh my - do we really sell these - i...i just can't beli....i...we would really sell something like....oh my, oh my..." Meanwhile the customers in line behind me are trying to peer over my shoulder to see what offending item I was trying to purchase. My face turned bright red. I was being shamed. As she began to calm down she told me my total as she was about ready to put the cum towel in the bag. Suddenly she realizes what else is already in the bag and screams out "oh I just can NOT put this in the same bag as Jesus!!!" and gets a new bag for the cum towel. *sigh*

2. New Years Eve is the worst possible night for bar employees. Arriving to the bar 6 hours early to help decorate didn't bother me - goofing off while blowing up balloons with quality peeps is actually kinda fun. It's the rest of the night that is the problem. Most of your regulars are headed off to private parties and the bar becomes full of people who go out just one or two nights a year. It becomes complete amateur night. People don't know how to order drinks, tip the bartender or hold their alcohol. Oh and karaoke can be headache inducing on it's own - do we really need to give a bar full of drunk people noisemakers and horns? I think not...

3. There is no better way to roll in the New Year than spending Jan 1 and 2 in bed/on the couch watching "I Love the 90s" and Season 1 of Alias. Complete waste of time - but absolute heaven. Much needed unwind time was mine all mine.

4. If the first uh, husband-for-a-night, is any indication of how the rest of 2006 will go I am very pleased. Complete goldicocks - not too big, not too small - just right......what a great way to welcome the new year...

Lonely Blue Dot

2006-01-02T16:32:00.000-05:00

Hark! Alas, I am here where I belong. I know that this post is a bit overdue, considering Mr. Bartender opened the door and invited me to join ‘and so it is’ over three weeks ago. All the holiday hoopla got me a bit distracted recently. I decided to start off on the right foot today and write out something that’ll help work out some apprehension I’ve had about journaling in this format. One last thing before we get started, I want you to know that every bit of wit, wisdom, sarcasm and sass that I’ll use to share my thoughts about my journey through life are bona fide 100% SASS certified through my lifetime brotherhood in SASS (see below).

Last week, I attempted to compose my first message to post, and I must say that I was somewhat actually pleased with what I was able to get out of my head and into words that made at least some sense. I added an image and even my first blog link, but the blogging gods frowned upon me and with an accidental keystroke the entire post went blank…. Ugh…far from happiness. Anyway, I sent Mr. Bartender a message through our secret little GT Messenger service, for his advice on how to compose/layout/edit a post and not lose it so quickly. He suggested either use Outlook or Word to compose the text then edit layout/images later. I opted to use MS Word and if you’re reading this then it probably worked.

A couple days ago as that tragic year 2005 was coming to an end, I took a break from “working” and decided to do some investigative research with the all mighty lords of Friendster. I saw that I had a message in my inbox and clicked to open the message and found a slightly disturbing message informing me that my life just may not be exactly how I see it.

Now this message was really quite disturbing to me because of all things that I hold most near and dear to my heart are foremost my friends. My family life hasn’t ever really been a happy place for me, unless I was a bit sassy and could put a bit more fun in my dysfunctional family. I’ve always relied on my friends and lean on them when times get rough. Mainly because my friends truly know who I am, understand me, and know what makes me tick. Anyway, I’ve always thought that I’ve done a pretty good job of building friendships with some truly remarkable ladies and gentlemen and maintaining those relationships. It was a bit sad to see a lonely blue dot (me) in a white box with no other dots (friends) and just a text box stating, “You do not have any friends.” HA! Puhlease. Surely you jest!! Ugh… I never want to think about this but…if this statement was ever true…it would be the end…the end of me.

Alright..happy thoughts..happy thoughts. Coming off a great holiday weekend shared with my greatest friends (Thank you all)... Happy New Year All!! Here’s to turning things around and making the most of what we have!! I’m ready for ya 2006! Bring it on mister sister!

Onward!!
SASSY PANTS

Printer Rules

2005-12-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

Here are two quick rules that should be adhered to when using a communal office printer. I would like to believe that these rules wouldn't have to be spelled out, but two coworkers this week had proved me wrong.

#1. When printing out personal information (i.e. the receipt for the prescription drugs you ordered online) it is highly advised that you obtain your print out immediately and do not leave it at the printer for several hours. You never know who may stumble upon that information...

#2. If you stumble upon a print out that contains sensitive and personal information about a coworker, discretely deliver the paper to them or leave at the printer and pretend you never read it. It is not acceptable behavior to immediately show others nearby that your coworker is taking antidepressants & Valtrex. Aside from giving yourself bad karma by just being kinda cruel - you're probably not gonna score points from the people you show it to. Honestly I could do without the mental image of a 50 something year old vagina with herpes....

That is all for now.

Thank you

Last Call

2005-12-28T13:51:00.000-05:00

This is your last call for a calm and sane workout at the gym...

Yes kids, January 1st is swiftly approaching and with it comes the flood of New Years Resolutions that turn your local sports club into an absolute madhouse.

When walking into the gym be ready to settle for the small & tiny lockers as all the spacious long ones have already been taken. If you want to stick to your standard routine*, be prepared to spend an hour and a half to do what would normally take you 45 minutes. Be ready to wait patiently as everywhere you turn the same person manages to be using the equipment you want to use, half-assed gliding through every set clearly using less weight than would be challenging for them. Brace yourself for the sad locker room moment when you realize that the showers with amazing water pressure are all taken, and you have to settle for the one that sputters out cold water in small penis-shrinking drips.

Fortunately, this period of gym insanity lasts only about a month and a half as most of these New Years resolutions were made for all the wrong reasons. Feelings of "I really should workout" fade as new episodes of Wife-Swap begin reairing. Gradually the great lockers, equipment and shower stalls become more available again, and life returns to normal.

Until then however, January is going to be a LONG month....

* if you want to spice up your routine with some different exercises click here to download some free iPod friendly training videos - 80+ routines available!

The Chinese make a killing off the Christians one day a year...

2005-12-25T22:11:00.000-05:00

As I figured out today, ATL all but shuts down on the day our Lord, Christ Jesus, was born 2,005 years ago (a nod to Mr. Bartender's artistic rendering posted earlier). Born of hunger and stir-craze, me and my brother jumped in the car at 1:04pm only to pull in to my grandfather's driveway seconds down the street to steel a dozen eggs half an hour later. You might have guessed--everything was shut down with edibles. We were forced to improvise. Omelettes it was. Shredded cheese and tomatoe were our only additives.

In the Bible belt's defense (they can surprise you with their open minded ways from time to time) not all their establishments observe this Christian holiday. Blockbuster was open. Dunk'n Donuts was as well. I think Chick Filet has the entire week off.

Anyhoo, fast forward a few hours and we were once again hungry and stir-crazed. All four of the family fandango loaded in the car in search of sustanance and distraction. Wouldn't you know the only establishment opened (aside from the movie theater) was Emperor's Palace 2 (why is it that Chinese restaurants number their establishments to indicate a chain). Like a beacon of light on a treacherous cliff, the neon lights with Buddha smiling in the window welcomed us. Dad swears the MSGs in Chinese food will put all of America to sleep one day and that's when America will pay terribly for the sins we've committed on the world.

Meanwhile, we were looking for some good gluttenous fun. It took me a while to realize that Buddha was born in April (at least that's what historians tell us) and that's why Chinese don't observe this blessed day as me and my family do and therefore have no qualms in making a quick buck off of us either. I'd be interested to know how their sales tonight compare to any other night in our Calendar year. New Year's day is no doubt their second highest grossing day of the year (yeah, it took me a moment to deduce they don't share our New Year either).

At any rate, we left there feeling a little stupid, having eaten so much (another mental note: Chinese restaurants always have a fish tank at the front register with nothing in it).

I'm at home now and ready to fall fast asleep. Did I mention I love holiday boredom? It was so greatly needed.

Happy Holidays and other statements to piss Bill O'Riley off...

2005-12-25T04:04:00.000-05:00

yes kids, it's offically Christmas and Mr. Bartender is a tad bit intoxicated...surprise, surprise :)

Despite the annoying girl at the start of the night who felt it should be busier because "gay people don't have families to go to" (*sigh*) the bar crowd was slow tonight, but full of good peeps that managed to keep a smile on my face all night long.

Mrs. Jesus came in briefly to help get the night started off, but headed out early to prep for our Christmas celebrations the following day. Meanwhile, as he departed the sexiest and hippest of the gay blog crowd made their way in to say hello, under what I assume to be the recommendation of Mr. Show himself. With Chemistry Lad by his side they fought hard to claim the title of hottest couple of the night, and ended up tying with these boys . All four of these guys manage to send Mr. Bartender's heart all aflutter every time he sees them...

Also in attendance was the charming carl , headwound gymnest, Clickboo with his native Iowan turned New Yorker friend, and John from Beaverhausen with his man Jaime. John and Jaime unfortunately had family to entertain the next day so didn't get to stay out quiet as late as the rest - but it was great seeing them nonetheless....

Anyway, wanted to thank everyone who stopped in tonight for helping make the night so wonderful. I'm glad we could ring in Christmas together :)

On a side note, for Christmas this year I've thrown together a little mix CD to give to all my peeps along with their Christmas presents....it's a collection of all the mellow (aka - depressing) songs that's I'm kinda digging for one reason or another at the moment... the cover-song happy tracklisting is as follows:

01. Everything But The Girl - Single
02. Girlyman - This Is Me
03. Ben Folds - Side of the Road
04. Denison Witmer - East From West
05. Patty Griffin - Moon River
06. Neko Case - I Wish I Was the Moon
07. Dar Williams with Ani DiFranco - Comfortably Numb
08. Eric Himan - Holding Back The Years
09. Leona Naess - Christmas
10. Lucinda Williams - Sharp Cutting Wings (Songs to a Poet)
11. Nickel Creek - Why Should The Fire Die
12. Bob Mould - Days of Rain
13. Jeff Klein - The 19th Hole
14. Tegan and Sara - Divided
15. Aimee Mann - Video
16. Tristan Prettyman - Guest Check
17. Ben Harper - Mary
18. Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins - Melt Your Heart
19. Shelby Lynne - Rainy Night In Georgia

Let me know if any of y'all are interested in a copy....all i ask in return is that if you dig any of the stuff you hear that you go out and buy a cd or two and/or check these peeps out in concert next time they swing by town....

alright, mr. intoxicated bartender is gonna call it a night....hope you all out there in blogland are having a wonderful holiday....

Santa Died For Your Sins...

2005-12-23T12:22:00.000-05:00

Allison Janey sat next to me on my flight home...

2005-12-22T12:20:00.000-05:00

I am always and will be forever amused by travel humor, in particular around the holidays, even further when it involves me. Even the idea of people being hurded, in mass, to destinations across country within spaces that clearly challenge the Western World's notion of personal space, is enough to write books about (I'm sure David Sedaris has something up his sleave if he hasn't pontificated over the matter already).

So there I am already in my second hour of journeying. My entire journey from start to finish was 7.5 hours long. Yes, I flew. No, no one drove my ass to Dulles. In fact, no one picked my ass up when I landed in ATL either. I'm not bitter. METRO and her fucked up loosy-goosy cloned sibling, MARTA, were both there to greet me on either end. We were an awkward menage a trois. One word of advice to aspiring rapid transit authorities across the nation--we want a subway, not a fairy ride on the monorail at Disney World. Less chairs. More handle bars. No fucking tokens. NY, consider yourselves lucky taking the walk this week.

But back to my second hour in route.

The last person to climb aboard the Washington Flyer was a young woman, presumably of college age (for those not lucky enough to have traveled the Flyer, this is what comes at the very tippy end of the world when you are forced travel to the other planet, named Dulles, to catch a flight out of Washington). I notice the women's frantic demeanor, as was mine, in trying to make three bags fit overhead without sitting on the face of the person just below who hadn't clued in to your arrival because their i Pod is already going full blast and they've safely made it into their zone not knowing that you are just about to violently interrupt it. So, she finally sits down, excuses herself to a man sitting to her left and then quietly begins to cry (I notice all of this because, little does she know, her reflection I can make out perfectly in the black plexy glass that is situated in front of her, separating her from the driver).

I was a few rows back and I immediately begin to choke up too. It was a moment, I guess. At any minute, Hugh Grant's voice could have come over the loudspeaker, talking crazy about sitting in aiports and watching love all around us and shit. It was also one of those moments where I wanted to hold and be held. Thank god the older man sitting next to her was just at the propper age to apply physical comfort without coming across as the "dirty old man" or "something must be wrong with you" type.

I watched their interactions. At first it was just conversations, talking while looking straight ahead, assuming the other was listening. Then there were nods and soon their heads tilted a little inward, each one catching glimpses while the other wasn't looking. It appeared as if they were genuinely enquiring about each other. I heard work, a major in this and a minor in that, upstate Massachusettes and Florida pandhandle. I'd like to think they might have actually been enjoying the brief comfort of each other, scratching at the thought of Providence, who had decidedly smiled upon them during an otherwise horrid commute.

After my Wahington Flyer experience I became a little more comfortable about the close proximity of people that day, otherwise disconnected were it not for one saving grace--a single and most important common denominator to consider--we are all in this fucking thing together!

Oh, and Independence Air it touting celebrity voiced instructions to spice up their "in case of emergency" routine before wheels-up. Allison Janey taught me how to put an oxygen mask on in case the cabin looses pressure in high altitude. God, I love Christmas. It's just so damn decadent!

Open Letter to 2006

2005-12-21T11:44:00.000-05:00

Dear 2006,

I just wanted to write you a quick note to let you know I’m anxiously awaiting your arrival. While your predecessor, 2005, was fairly kind to me, she was a bit harsh to many of those around me. As her reign in office comes to an end I look at some people close to me and see them in a lot of pain. I ask that you treat them with more benevolence than she did. You may not be able to undo all the problems that 2005 created, but please spare them any further hardships. Oh and if it’s not too much to ask, a miracle or two for K would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance…

Humbly yours,

Mr. Bartender

Newest Member

2005-12-20T17:24:00.000-05:00

Let me take a quick moment to introduce you all to our newest blog-member - Sassypants. He's fun luvin' and an all around good guy. Be on the lookout for a post from him with in the next day or two.

Until then I direct you to gmail's most recent recommendation to me - Tigress Luv and her fail-proof method to "Stop Your Break Up and Get YOUR Partner Back in YOUR Arms Where They Belong!" Something tells me Chapter 1 revolves around slashing exboyfriend's tires and late night threatening phone calls....

Weekend Review

2005-12-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

Friday night was the celebration of my karaoke host's birthday. Now mama likes to refer to our bar as her trailer park so when Durban Bud blogged about these dolls I just knew mama needed both Trash Talking Turleen and Little Miss Guzzler. Maybe she was just humoring me, but she appeared to love them both.

Friday night also brought about a going away party for a coworker of mine at my day job and the surprise appearance of Mrs. Jesus, our LA Friend, Sassypants and The Boy. It was great to have so many people I love in the bar. Although The Boy ended up experiencing a rather awkward moment. He met a guy and was chatting with him for awhile, he ordered a round from me and returned to the guy and his friends. About 5 minutes later he returned saying "lady I have far too much respect for myself to put up with that." Apparently when he returned with drinks the guy and his friends were laughing and confessed it was at The Boy's expense. When asked for elaboration they told this story about this kid they picked up awhile back who was a tragic mess and they decided on the way home to "stop by Walmart to buy him a pillow to bite on while we took turns fucking him". An apprehensive Boy asked the obvious question "and what does this have to do with me?" Their response was "oh we planned on doing the same to you tonight". *sigh* some shady motherfuckers out there.....

Anyway the rest of the evening went on and all seemed to go fine until we left the bar to discover mama's car had gotten broken into. What did the thugs feel was so necessary to break mama's window for? Money - nope, CDs - nope, duffel bag full of drag clothing - yup!!! another *sigh* and I repeat there are some shady motherfuckers out there...

Saturday I woke up earlier than normal in order to meet up with the gang to catch Brokeback Mountain. Now the first thing that struck me was just how poorly the in-theater advertisers did at targeting their audience. Seriously do we need to start the film with an Army recruitment ad? I really don't think the average demographic watching a gay themed movie in a gay neighborhood is the kind of people the Army is actively recruiting. Following the Army plug was an advertisement that started off as "from the lead singer of the hit group Creed" and an agitated groan broke out among the crowd. Seriously the Army ad was annoying enough, but Christian rock? Now you're pushing the limits....

Anyway the movie was really really good, but I didn't love it as much as I thought I was going to. I think with all of the hype I expected to be sobbing uncontrollably at the end. It was incredibly sad, but I didn't shed any tears. Some minor complaints - I would have liked to have seen more of their early relationship where they first fall for each other. Hot rough sex is pretty great and all, but I would have liked to see more of the initial bond than that. Oh and speaking of the sex scene, they sure figured out their roles quite quickly!! One second they have this kiss me, don't kiss me thing going on and then bam a quick spit for lube later and heath is fucking jake. I've never seen a top/bottom question resolved so quickly in my life...

Anyway, even though it wasn't quite up to the hype (but honestly with that much hype can you really live up to it??) it was a damn good film...highly recommended....

That evening there was a birthday party for one of the regulars. Now while birthday girl and her girlfriend are great and I adore them, their friends weren't exactly winning much of my love.... Copperred was in that night and looked in shock as person after person dropped a quarter or nothing at all. It can be rough to stay in a good mood when you're getting consistent shitty tips, but luckily being able to joke with him and mama about it helped keep me upbeat. Things got even better when Sean and Headwound Gymnest came in to finish the evening off. Sean delighted the crowd with some karaoke and treated me to several shots of Bushmills. That in addition to the alcohol already consumed earlier that evening meant that by closing time I was a tad intoxicated. The manager looked at me and said "um, are you drunk?" and I smiled and said "oh yeah...i'm not even gonna try and hide that from ya..." he just smiled and carried on his business...

Sunday I woke up earlier than normal again so Mrs. Jesus and I could meet up with LA friend for one final brunch before he headed back to the West Coast. After brunch we headed off to the airport and said our goodbyes. I was really sad to see him go. Every time he comes to visit it feels as though he never left, he just fits so perfectly with our group of friends. I keep trying to convince him to move back here, but the cold DC winter was kinda hurting my cause…

That evening I went back to the bar to see mama in her birthday variety show. Despite having her wardrobe stolen from her car from her she did a remarkable job! Unfortunately she didn’t realize her shoes were yanked as well until an hour before she went on stage…like a true pro though she carried on shoeless and still managed to dazzle the crowd… Happy Birthday Mama!!

Monday I woke up to the alarm clock and immediately decided it was time to call in sick to work. After the non-stop nature of the prior week (and the flu shot given mid week) I was exhausted and completely worn down. I spend yesterday catching up on some much needed sleep, much needed housecleaning and even ventured outdoors briefly to work on some much needed holiday shopping…. I’m still no where near close to ready for Christmas…

2005-12-15T16:12:00.000-05:00

Here's a must read for today....

Having grown up Catholic - complete with 12 years of Catholic school - I have to agree with Dinger on what he says. While religion provides a valuable resource for some, it is the greatest mind control device ever imagined.

Seriously if you want to convince someone to do something really awful, like oh say fly a plane into a building, you're gonna need a pretty strong argument. A promise of eternal happiness and oodles of young virgins in the afterlife is a pretty damn good bargaining chip to offer.

But let's ignore the extreme, let's go to the every day. When my dad was just a baby my biological womanizing grandfather left my grandma and the 8 kids behind. He flat out walked out on her and left her alone. Being a devout Catholic she went to the only remaining source of strength that she knew of - her faith. In return she was told that had she been a better wife her husband would still be around. The divorce was finalized but not annulled by the Catholic church - and that meant my grandmother had committed a sin. She was unable to receive the sacraments at her church.

The one moment in her life that she needed the church the most, they turned their backs on her. And despite how awful they treated her and everything that had transpired, she still holds the Catholic faith as her solid rock - even above her family. Whatever the Pope tells her to believe she does without question - the Church is infallible. In her eyes my sister and I are committing sins because we are both gay and not restricting our lives to ones of abstinence. It's just one of those things we both had to accept - no amount of debate would change her mind because her mind hasn't been made by her, it's been made by the church. It's scary the amount of absolute power religion holds over people.

(on a side note, it wasn't until the mid eighties that the church finally annulled her first marriage and accepted the marriage of her second husband (the only guy I've known as my grandfather). That means that in the church's eyes my parents were married before my grandparents were - it's an odd thought)

Anyway, I'll close with a link to another tale of just how obnoxious the religious zealots can be.....

Thank you weather.com

2005-12-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

for informing me that it's snowing out...

you provided me useful information while i'm stuck under the fluorescent glow of this windowless office.

transbuddha gems....

2005-12-14T15:24:00.000-05:00

...some gems from Transbuddha :

* okay not wanting to pimp out Starbucks or anything, but you gotta admit this commercial is pretty damn funny

* Give The Jew Girl Toys Sarah Silverman cuddling with Santa - is that a ball gag in his mouth??

* I know this puts my humor right back at middle school but sometimes fart jokes are funny, especially when they involve evangelists...

Newbies, Bad Tippers and Birthday Surprises

2005-12-13T13:53:00.000-05:00

Friday and Saturday nights at the bar were rough....it was a slow weekend filled with some pretty bad tippers. A sign of just how rough it was gonna be came early on Friday night by the arrival of my first two customers - a recently out guy and his straight friend. The newbie had gotten rimmed for the first time the night before and was complaining that he couldn't understand why anyone would do that. When asked if it felt good he said "oh god yeah it was amazing but that's so weird, i hope it never happens again". Oh he has much to learn.... Meanwhile straight guy (already drunk) kept insisting he needed some pussy. "yo dude i'm straight, where's the pussy - you said there'd be pussy here, gays are cool and all but like i'm straight...i'm straight man...." eh, yeah sure....the lady doth protest too much, methinks...

Saturday night was just comical in how consistent the no tip or quarter tip became. The most interesting bad tipper was the fake-tip guy. He'd order a drink, get his change and then fumble around in his wallet to appear like he was looking for the right amount to tip me. The second my back was turned he'd run away without leaving a thing. An awful lot of work to avoid looking cheap when in reality it just made him look cheap AND shady.

Bar bullshit aside, the rest of the weekend was amazing. Mrs. Jesus had a little (big) birthday celebration on Sunday which ended up being such a blast. Kudos to everyone who was able to keep it a secret making the perfect surprise party. The highlight of the party was the appearance of our mystery guest who flew in from LA just to be there for Mrs. Jesus' birthday. He's in town all week so Team Lady will most likely be celebrating every night this week.

Yesterday all of Team Lady had already taken off of work in our anticipation of the morning hangover that would ensue. It was quite a good idea. After downing oodles of advil and tums we met up with Prada for some lunch at Paradise Paradiso and shopping around town. Our journey led us to Home Rule, where it appears Mrs. Jesus' favorite porn star is now working. I can just imagine how much their sales have sky rocketed after he started, if for no other reason than being able to say "yeah Tag Adams totally checked me out"...

All in all, it was a great weekend....Happy Birthday Mrs. Jesus - we love you!!

Date Derailed...

2005-12-09T18:10:00.000-05:00

So the date last night was so-so I guess...not bad, but not exceptionally good either. By no means was exchanting enough to excuse missing this party or the usual thursday festivities - and probably not good enough to grant another go-around...

We ended up seeing Derailed with Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen (his recommendation - not mine). The movie was as "eh" as the date itself. Highlight of the film was watching Jen rip the clothes off of the ever sexy Clive Owen. Sadly just before she started blowing him the scene gets interrupted by some thug and the audience is treated to what feels like 4 hours of a stale wanna-be thriller. The entire time I was sitting there thinking "Alright Clive, I can deal with a lame plot - just take your shirt off again for me....no? alright, how about you just undo a couple buttons so i can see more of that sexy chest hair? no? alright then, yeah go get your ass kicked again *sigh*

Luckily the diverse characters at the Gallery Place theater succeed where the movie failed - in entertaining me. The only good thing about a bad movie is that you really stop caring if people around you are being rude. So naturally when Clive fucks around on his wife the chorus of "uh-uh"s and "oh no he didn't" from the black girls and gay boys just put a smile on my face.

After the movie it was apparent that my date enjoyed the movie so I played nice and downplayed how awful I thought it was. My "whew was a waste of time and money" turned to "oh well, that was kinda over the top at times but um still, uh...wow that Clive Owens sure is hot". That's when he wanted to know what 'type' of guy I'm attracted to. That's never good question for a first date - obviously I'm attracted to you or I wouldn't be with you right now, don't make me define the things I like that you don't have. Another no-no is to repeatedly ask if the other person is having a good time....once is fine, two is so-so - but around time 10 or 11 I'm about ready to punch ya....

So we parted with a simple kiss and after 5 minutes of being home my phone rang. He wanted to meet up the next day for lunch.

Oh no...

Time to give the whole "eh I don't think this is gonna work" talks....I loathe giving those...at this point I'd prefer to be the rejected than the rejector. At least when you're rejected you can get pissed off and drunk with friends and be done. Being the rejector there's a tinge of guilt everytime you see the guy. Even though you know you have nothing to feel guilty about, it's there....and it sucks....

yawn

2005-12-08T14:15:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or is anyone else bored with this list of Grammy Nominees? It's nice to see my girl Fiona on there I guess, and yeah nice that Ani got her usual nomination for best album artwork (it'd be even better if they appreciated her actual MUSIC), but overall I'm underwhelmed. Is Mariah really the best we have to offer?

On an unrelated note - google users are smarter and richer than non-users! My favorite part of this article is that it's found on Yahoo :)

oh and unrelated note #2 - looking for a new fabulous day job - forward any leads my way! After all, I'm a google user so I need to get closer to that 60K income level :)

i'm back!

2005-12-08T12:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I've been a bit slow on the blogfront this week kids, it's been an interesting and busy one. Some points to note:

#1 - Happy B-diddy - Mrs. Jesus has a 30th birthday swiftly approaching!!! Top secret plans are in the works and despite his attempts to figure them out - and several near slips on my part - I think I've done a good job at keeping him in the dark. This shall be a birthday he will not forget...

#2 - Another Straight Girl Rule - this one should be obvious, but apparently it's not. Therefore I have to amend my list to include this - Ladies, when at a gay bar please don't ask "so which one of you bartenders pops pussies?" Actually, how about you don't say that at any bar - gay or straight. Thank you.

#3 - An evening with the straights - last night I went to drop off something to Prada at her bar and walked into the middle of the kickball team drinkathon. Luckily I ran into Chip and decided to have a cocktail or two with him. I had several comments from people on my Threadless shirt, including a guy who asked what team I played on. My natural gut reaction was "oh I'm gay" until it dawned on me he meant which kickball team i played on.

Another threadless fan was this girl who was flirting hardcore with me to no avail. I dropped a few subtle hints about my love of men but she never quite got it - how she missed a key word like "exboyfriend" I'm not sure. I thought about just saying "I'm gay" but decided it against it, not because I was ashamed but because I feared becoming her token gay best friend. After all, it was just a week ago I had met a straight girl and 30 seconds into she said

"you're gay right? well Washington Post says if you have dating problems ask a gay man - so I'll ask you - What am I doing wrong?"

*sigh*

"look I just met you seconds ago - i have no idea what you're doing wrong"

"ah come on...you're gay....what are you first impressions of me...what am I doing wrong"

"i may be gay but i'm also a disaster at relationships....you are asking the wrong guy..."

"so you have no advice?"

"don't rely on stereotypes for dating advice!"

Anyway, last night I wasn't cocktailed enough to endure another one of those conversations so I did my best to just remain ambiguous...

Another girl I met last night - who i adored - was this kick ass blond girl whose name escapes me. She was hard core into kickball and started bitching about obnoxious girls who screech during the games. The minute I heard her complain about the straight girl screech I knew I loved her. We agreed the screech is inappropriate in pretty much any social situation. All in all it was a good night.

#4 - Jarhead Propaganda - for some reason I continue to get emails from this tragic hookup I had in 2001. He was secret service at the time of the hookup and now I think he's a flight marshall or something random like that. Anyway, from time to time he sends me pro Bush/war propaganda. I've tried kindly asking him to not forward these messages, I've tried debating him on the issues, I've tried to just ignore him and hope it'd go away. No such luck. The most recent email he sent me was a video of US soldiers killing some insurgents from their helicopter. Now random forwards are one thing, but seriously I have no interest in receiving footage of your buds killing people. I shot back an email asking "what the fuck is this?" and he replied saying he sent it out to show "they gave them every opportunity before they dusted them" *sigh*

So far so good

2005-12-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

Day 1 with snow/ice on the ground:

Mr. Bartender did not fall on his ass on the way to work and he was pleased.

That is all for now.

on an unrelated note,

if downloading copywrited material wasn't illegal I'd tell you all to visit this site to hear the solo CD of Jenny Lewis (lead singer of Rilo Kiley) before it's officially released. I'd follow that suggestion buy encouraging you all to purchase the CD when it comes out if you find you like the material. I'd say songs like "Rise Up with Fists", "The Charging Sky" and "You Are What You Love" should be reason enough to buy the CD. But since downloading such music is illegal I won't encourage that. After all the RIAA clearly knows what they're doing and have the best interests of artists in mind. They don't attack innocent people and things like this aren't funny.

Another Thursday Night!

2005-12-02T17:40:00.000-05:00

Last night I met up with the usual suspects for another night out at the Green Lantern. It was one of those evenings where you just keep running into person after person that you only kinda-sorta-know - some for the good and some for the not so good. Luckily despite the few bad seeds, I got the pleasure of interacting with a few peeps I'd like to get to know better, including these gay bloger studs....

And it was a good thing I had a blast last night, found out some uh - interesting news today at work that could mean some changes for yours truly.....

i'm not sure yet if its good change or bad change...

but whatever, as fiona says "be kind to me or treat me mean - i'll make the most of it i'm an extraordinary machine..."

this blog is worthless

2005-12-02T17:07:00.000-05:00

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

I feel like I'm in high school again...

World AIDS Day

2005-12-01T08:06:00.000-05:00

on a serious note...

So today is World AIDS Day....

For awhile now, I've been contemplating writing an all out personal history for this day. But after I wrote the LONG and detailed posted, I realized it was more of an exorcism of demons than anything that was a required reading for the general public. All that said, for any of those so inclined to know my sad sappy past, you can read that here.

Anyway, no my AIDS day post is going to be a bit on the controversial side I think. In fact I unfortunately feel borderline Republican when I think about these things (and being borderline Republican on ANYTHING gives me an uneasy feeling), but honestly let's get it all out on the table.

To clarify:

I am not writing about HIV infections worldwide

I am not writing about HIV infections from the 80s

I am not writing about HIV infections on the poor & uneducated

I'm not writing about HIV infections from people whose partners cheated on them

No, I am writing about my peers, my community - the single educated gay men whose entire sexual development was framed in a world where HIV was a reality yet continue to engage in unprotected sex.

Why the fuck are we continuing to infect ourselves???

As much as I want to feel nothing but utter compassion for those who fit the above mold and test positive, I've lately been finding myself at a bit of a lack of sympathy. I mean come on, we grew up in an era that by the time our dicks first got hard we knew what HIV was, we knew how to protect ourselves. In this day in age this is NO REASON we should be continuing to become positive...

I don't feel that anyone deserves to get this disease - it's not an issue of morality or karma. HIV is an awful thing, but unfortunately it is an evil reality that exists in the world. This is a fact. Just because a condom is a bitch to use and a monogamous relationship isn't always easy to come by (or wanted) doesn't mean we should trade in our health for a mind blowing orgasm. Come on people!

I compare it to a hard thunderstorm in a wide open field. It's not very wise for a guy to be out there flying his kite in the middle of it. So if he gets struck by lighting I'll feel bad for him, but bottom line - didn't he know better? Why is it so wrong to say, what the fuck were you thinking???

When are we going to take responsibility for our actions???

Maybe I feel so strongly about this because it's been far too personal for me. Maybe it's because someone I was in love with made all the wrong decisions and got bit hard in the ass as a result. Maybe I've seen too many friends fall upon the same fate. Maybe my heart can't take another person I know and care about becoming infected. As hard as I try not to judge these people - my friends and loved ones - I find it so hard to not be angry with them. It bothers me that some of the people that I love wouldn't care enough about themselves to protect themselves.

It bothers me that it seems like more money gets spent on HIV treatment than does HIV prevention. I scoff at such events as Cherry that attempts to raise money for HIV organizations meanwhile promoting a circuit party that probably creates more drug induced HIV infections than it'll ever be able to treat with the money it raises.

In some ways I feel bad for feeling the way I do. I honestly wish nothing more than for a cure to be found and for us to be able to move on. Sex is not the evil at play here. People who engage in sex aren't the evil. HIV is the evil, not people with HIV. But knowing this evil exists in the world I beg of you all to not allow it into your lives. Be safe, wear a condom, have an open relationship if you want but save that most intimate of moments of bareback sex for your partner only, for god sakes protect yourself.

We have already had far, far too many World AIDS Day.....

(serious post over, please join us tomorrow when we return to such topics as skid marks and bad tippers)

Metro Observations

2005-11-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

I know that it has been a while since I have posted... many apologies but I have been busy.

Two observations from the Metro this morning:

1. Really hot guy standing up in front of me. I was totally scoping him out until I realized he had a bible in his hand... now, not so hot.

2. I was walking behind two female army cadets to get off the Metro. Finally when I pass them I realize that they are both singing the lyrics to Rent to eachother. [Sigh]... this is all I am going to hear for the next three months. I know if I have a bad, a certain bartender at a certain karoke bar must already be dying!

MrsJesus is back!