Sunday, December 25, 2005

The Chinese make a killing off the Christians one day a year...

As I figured out today, ATL all but shuts down on the day our Lord, Christ Jesus, was born 2,005 years ago (a nod to Mr. Bartender's artistic rendering posted earlier). Born of hunger and stir-craze, me and my brother jumped in the car at 1:04pm only to pull in to my grandfather's driveway seconds down the street to steel a dozen eggs half an hour later. You might have guessed--everything was shut down with edibles. We were forced to improvise. Omelettes it was. Shredded cheese and tomatoe were our only additives.

In the Bible belt's defense (they can surprise you with their open minded ways from time to time) not all their establishments observe this Christian holiday. Blockbuster was open. Dunk'n Donuts was as well. I think Chick Filet has the entire week off.

Anyhoo, fast forward a few hours and we were once again hungry and stir-crazed. All four of the family fandango loaded in the car in search of sustanance and distraction. Wouldn't you know the only establishment opened (aside from the movie theater) was Emperor's Palace 2 (why is it that Chinese restaurants number their establishments to indicate a chain). Like a beacon of light on a treacherous cliff, the neon lights with Buddha smiling in the window welcomed us. Dad swears the MSGs in Chinese food will put all of America to sleep one day and that's when America will pay terribly for the sins we've committed on the world.

Meanwhile, we were looking for some good gluttenous fun. It took me a while to realize that Buddha was born in April (at least that's what historians tell us) and that's why Chinese don't observe this blessed day as me and my family do and therefore have no qualms in making a quick buck off of us either. I'd be interested to know how their sales tonight compare to any other night in our Calendar year. New Year's day is no doubt their second highest grossing day of the year (yeah, it took me a moment to deduce they don't share our New Year either).

At any rate, we left there feeling a little stupid, having eaten so much (another mental note: Chinese restaurants always have a fish tank at the front register with nothing in it).

I'm at home now and ready to fall fast asleep. Did I mention I love holiday boredom? It was so greatly needed.


At 11:02 PM, Anonymous copperred said...

You know, Jews often talk about "celebrating" Christmas by going to the movies and eating out Chinese.

I did notice that I found a cab reasonably easily (thank you Islam), that all the Latino restaurants were open at 3PM (not sure why that is) and in this city Ethiopian food (as long as they arent Coptic) is easily had.

Looks like you're having a good time.

At 2:36 AM, Blogger Mr. Bartender said...

I heart that big gay kevin is FINALLY posting to the blog.... don't get too excited dear readers for he shall return back to his hiding state after his "vacation" with the family is over...

Seriously, when with the family is there anything else you CAN do but blog???

At 2:21 PM, Blogger Dale said...

you can also drink... a lot.

At 8:14 PM, Blogger Stef said...

Wow, BGK posted to the blog! Glad to hear that the ATL family is doing well.... I look forward to hearing stories of exploits from BGK and BGK's brother.

I loved that you called yourselves the "family fandango" -- what would a boring family vacay be without the big trip to the movies? Yes, it really can cost 60 bucks for a family of 4 to go to the matinee and eat popcorn. That's if you're my family, where 3 of them eat 2 megabuckets (plus free refills) between them!

At 2:35 PM, Blogger always write said...

Actually, the Chinese make a killing off the Jews on Christmas. It's all I ate for three days.


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