Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Newbies, Bad Tippers and Birthday Surprises

Friday and Saturday nights at the bar were rough....it was a slow weekend filled with some pretty bad tippers. A sign of just how rough it was gonna be came early on Friday night by the arrival of my first two customers - a recently out guy and his straight friend. The newbie had gotten rimmed for the first time the night before and was complaining that he couldn't understand why anyone would do that. When asked if it felt good he said "oh god yeah it was amazing but that's so weird, i hope it never happens again". Oh he has much to learn.... Meanwhile straight guy (already drunk) kept insisting he needed some pussy. "yo dude i'm straight, where's the pussy - you said there'd be pussy here, gays are cool and all but like i'm straight...i'm straight man...." eh, yeah sure....the lady doth protest too much, methinks...

Saturday night was just comical in how consistent the no tip or quarter tip became. The most interesting bad tipper was the fake-tip guy. He'd order a drink, get his change and then fumble around in his wallet to appear like he was looking for the right amount to tip me. The second my back was turned he'd run away without leaving a thing. An awful lot of work to avoid looking cheap when in reality it just made him look cheap AND shady.

Bar bullshit aside, the rest of the weekend was amazing. Mrs. Jesus had a little (big) birthday celebration on Sunday which ended up being such a blast. Kudos to everyone who was able to keep it a secret making the perfect surprise party. The highlight of the party was the appearance of our mystery guest who flew in from LA just to be there for Mrs. Jesus' birthday. He's in town all week so Team Lady will most likely be celebrating every night this week.

Yesterday all of Team Lady had already taken off of work in our anticipation of the morning hangover that would ensue. It was quite a good idea. After downing oodles of advil and tums we met up with Prada for some lunch at Paradise Paradiso and shopping around town. Our journey led us to Home Rule, where it appears Mrs. Jesus' favorite porn star is now working. I can just imagine how much their sales have sky rocketed after he started, if for no other reason than being able to say "yeah Tag Adams totally checked me out"...

All in all, it was a great weekend....Happy Birthday Mrs. Jesus - we love you!!

6 Comments:

At 3:31 PM, Blogger Dale said...

I don't know how you guys can keep up with el marathon de celebration... my poor fragile body is a MESS after sunday nights festivities.... or maybe it's that I went out 5/7 nights last week.

That being said I'll see you at the bar tomorrow night!

 
At 8:12 AM, Blogger clickboo said...

Bad tippers suck!! Don't they understand you provide a very needed service?!? :)

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger Dudley said...

Terribly sorry I missed the birthday extravaganza as I was still reeling from Katinka's out of control birthday celebration the evening before. Happy birthday Mrs. Jesus! You don't look a day over 22!!! *kiss kiss*

And yeah, bad tippers pretty much beeee-low. Having waited tables several years ago (I call that my "dark period") I feel Mr. Bartender's pain AND confusion - if you're gonna stiff me, just do it and get the frig outta the way for the next cheappies to move in.

 
At 12:27 PM, Anonymous durban bud said...

Tag Adams works at Home Rule?!? That's hysterical! I wonder if he uses his real name. I think I now need to buy some stocking stuffers there.

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger Asian Mistress said...

The party looked amazing guys! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy!

 
At 7:59 PM, Blogger VP of Dior said...

happy late belated b-day

 

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