Public Service Announcement

Dear Washington Sports Club Patrons,

I am not going to tell anyone how to maintain their personal hygiene or the proper way to wipe their own ass. However, if you happen to have a case of skid marks on your white undergarments, especially a case so severe that it makes one question if they are skid marks or a possible accident, please refrain from laying said undergarments on the locker room floor - soiled side up for all to see. This is an unwelcome display under normal circumstances, but particularly offensive when they remain in full view on the floor while you are showering.

I sincerely hope I only need to make this request once. I thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Yours truly,

Mr. Bartender