Minors in bars and getting cut off...

(sorry kids it's another bar rant - i kinda pissed a few people off tonight and below is my unapologetic reason for doing so)


Tonight Mr. Bartender was confused. I thought I went in for a Friday night shift at the bar I work at, instead I found myself working at Apex on Thursday's college night - at least that's how it appeared. For some reason this evening we had a huge group of barely legal kids celebrating a 21st birthday. There was more chicken in my bar tonight than on my grandparent's farm in Iowa.

As a result I became an ID checking fiend after our door guy closed down at 1:00. This unfortunately coincided with the arrival of people coming directly from tonight's Guerrilla Queer bar. The Guerrilla guys were a great group, but with all the possible minors running around from the party I had to keep checking IDs -especially when they were buying for multiple people. I sensed the Guerrilla guys were annoyed as I witnessed quite a number of rolling of the eyes and labored sighs. I want to make clear - when I check IDs I do this not to be a pain in the ass - I'm doing it to protect myself. You see, the Alcohol Beverage Control (ABC) & the Metro police have the right to not only fine me if a minor gets served, but they also can give me the privilege of getting to spend a night in jail. As much as I love watching a naked Chris Meloni on Oz, I somehow doubt the real life jail experience is nearly as hot. I know it's a pain to have to keep getting out your ID but I am really just doing my job and trying to save my own ass.

Oh and please do not try to convince me to help you sneak your minor friend into the bar. I could care less how hot he is, he's not worth risking a night in jail for me or any of my coworkers. Ain't gonna happen....

Also, if I decide you might just be a little too intoxicated for another drink, don't take it personal. First of all I've been tragically drunk MANY times in my life - therefore I am not judging you for your state of inebriation and I am casting no stones. I have been in your shoes, it's fine, i still respect you, i hope you had as much fun getting there as I do when I'm that trashed. All that said I am trying to protect both you and me from getting in some trouble.

Generally I only cut people off if they fall into three different categories - 1) you become over the top loud/abusive with other me or other customers 2) you have trouble standing/walking 3) i catch you doing drugs. I never cut people off because they just generally annoy me or I don't like them. If I did there would be a lot more people each night that I would refuse to serve. Again, the decision to cut you off is not a personal one.

If you feel like you aren't that drunk and want to prove to the bartender that you're really okay - don't argue with him. After I cut someone off the only way I'm going to change my mind is for some time to go by and for me to see that person sober up a bit. If you're cut off say "alright I know you're just doing your job. How about some water" Have a glass of it, hell go for two or three and really show me you're trying to sober up. After some times goes by, remembering not to slur your words or stumble into someone on your way to the bar, say "thanks for the water, i'm feeling much better, would it be alright if i went back to beer now?" I'm much more likely to respond to that than the person who argues with me and tries to debate me on DC law and ABC rules and regulations on overserving people.

Bottom line if you're so drunk you're stumbling into people you don't need more to drink. It doesn't matter if I served you yet or not - you're still trashed. By allowing you to drink more I'm risking 1) you puking in my bar 2) you passing out at my bar 3) someone taking advantage of your drunken state and stealing from or having their way with you and 4) worst case - you leaving the bar and injuring yourself or someone else (you know that whole drunk driver thing...). And if something tragic DOES happen, you die or you kill someone, at the end of the day it could be my ass that gets sued. I'm not putting myself in that risk for you to have one more drink. All legal ramifications aside, I don't want my conscious burdened with the knowledge that I thought about cutting that guy off but I didn't and now his brains are splattered all over 395.

I'm just trying to make sure everyone gets home safe and has a good time...


(oh and gotta issue a big ole' fuck you to the thief we had in the bar tonight - stealing is never cool, stealing from my karaoke host earns you a special place on my shit list)

(the dreaded RENT karaoke trend has started up again and is in full force. Be forewarned before stepping into a karaoke bar. Also the same day I post about my hatred for Celine Dion someone sang an awful version of "My Heart Will Go On" - i contemplating slitting my wrists but decided I couldn't let the last song I ever hear be that.....)