Friday, November 18, 2005

Mr. Bartender's Funeral

While checking out the blog stats today I ran across the following google uk search that led to our site:

lady sucks me dry london

we were on the second page of results....go team lady! I guess we're extending our services internationally :)

ANYWAY, speaking of London (and the real reason for my post today) is that I came across the results of the Top 10 pop songs played at British Funerals. They are:

1. My Way - Frank Sinatra
2. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
3. Angels - Robbie Williams
4. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
5. Simply The Best - Tina Turner
6. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
7. You'll Never Walk Alone - Gerry and the Pacemakers
8. Over The Rainbow - Eva Cassidy
9. Time To Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman
10. We'll Meet Again Dame - Vera Lynn

Okay that list makes me very sad for the dead British. I swear to God if anyone even thinks of playing Celine Dion at my funeral I will come back and haunt your ass.

I guess I can understand their #1 choice of My Way, but for me that song falls into the "I've heard this song slaughtered too many times on karaoke I can't bear to even hear the original anymore".

But this list got me thinking about what I would want played at my funeral. As I mentioned on this blog before, I'm a sucker for a good sad song and what place more appropriate for a sad song than my own funeral, right? Hell I don't even want a funeral - just give me one big concert where all my favorite sad songs are being sung about me. I'll even make it easy for you, you just need to book Patty Griffin and have Lucinda Williams & Gillian Welch open...The typical "mass" is about an hour so we'll keep this concert about the same length...

Here's the set list:


Lucinda Williams
1. Sweet Old World
2. Overtime
3. World Without Tears

Gillian Welch
1. I’m Not Afraid To Die
2. I’ll Fly Away
3. I Dream A Highway

Patty Griffin
1. The Long Stairs
2. Top of the World (no, not the Carpenter's song...)
3. Not Alone
4. Dear Old Friend
5. Goodbye
6. Long Ride Home (gotta close big)

After the concert go ahead and scatter my ashes and be done. You are now allowed to return to your regularly scheduled Celine Dion, Cher, Britney, and other pop-music crap


At 2:01 PM, Anonymous Richard said...

One friend wants "We are the champions" by Queen blaring through the cemetery.

At 2:22 PM, Anonymous copperred said...

Lady must have quite the reputation...

How about Dido's White Flag? If only Sonny had died later, Cher could have played that over and over and over.

If anyone plays that awful Whitney song, I will burn their house to the ground and chase them with 45s.

I'll be dead. Does my opinion matter? If I was spiritual I might go for the Supremes' "Someday We'll Be Together", but since I'm not, maybe some truly vicious Swedish punk.

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Dale said...

Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and gay it up with the setlist for MY funeral....

Obviously my coffin will be ceremoniously brought in to the tune of Adagio for strings

Rien de Rien - Judith Piaf
One Day I'll fly away - Moulin Rouge
Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton
Hallelujah - Rufus Wainright

This will obvy be followed by the stream of my mourners including european royalty and members of the diplomatic community

Then a montage will be shown a la Love actually fame to the tune of
Simple Gifts by the Shaker people.

Finally I'll be carried out to the tune of "when the saints go marching in"


At 2:53 PM, Blogger Mr. Bartender said...

Copperred - I'm a bit spiritual (not religious) but thought about throwing in Ani DiFranco's "What if No One Is Watching" just to cause a ruckous at the funeral...lyrics include:

"What if no one is watching
What if when we're dead we are just dead
What if God isn't looking down
What if he's looking up instead"

brilliant :)

Dale - good call on Hallelujah! Everyone and their mother has covered that song so I'm sure I could get Patty to add it to her portion of the setlist....


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