Sunday, November 13, 2005

3 day weekend recap

1. I started the three day weekend celebrating on Thursday night with The Boy and the rest of Team Lady for our usual Green Lantern venture. We decided to mix things up a bit and hang out downstairs instead of the uber-packed upstairs bar (secretly so we could all drool over Cubbies hat guy). Many cocktails were consumed and we somehow ended up at Cobalt. Now Cobalt isn't my favorite place in the world, but I was liquored enough to make the most of it. In fact, maybe I made a bit too much of it and somehow Friday morning greeted me in a bed that was not my own. Friday morning was also my first experience with a guy who has a foot fetish. I try to keep an open mind to things, but I found the continual tickling of my feet to be a bit distracting. I assumed he would have picked up on the non-verbal cues I was giving him (moving my feet out of his grasp) but no when that didn't work I had to give the whole "um yeah - i'm not enjoying that so much".... Also I have to say if you have a foot fetish I am SOOO not your guy. I have a 40 minute walk to and from work, Mon-Fri, as a result I have some major callouses. I also have eczema, a skin allergy that occasionally causes a small flaky rash on my feet. Bottom line my feet are NASTY....they don't need to be fetishized or tickled.

(Oh I should also mention he was kind enough to leave a mark on my neck - but I'm in denial about it and am refusing to acknowledge the hickey's presence)

2. Friday night at the bar was D-E-A-D. Probably the slowest night I've had in years. Somehow despite a dead bar and my allergies kicking into overdrive I managed to stay in a fairly good mood for the most of the night. Having surprise guest appearances from Chip and Dale as well as The Hot Bitches certainly helped.

At one point I went to the bathroom and saw two guys walk out of the stall, both sniffing their noses. It's time to quote The Sean Show now:

"…there are only two reasons why two grown men would share a public bathroom stall. One is quickie sex. The other involves small baggies, pen caps and (hopefully) a good dealer. Either is unacceptable at my bar. Smart Tip For Kids: Keep your private shit private."

Now what I don't get is why on earth people would do that shit at my bar of all places. Cobalt - I could see that, Sadlands - oh yeah, Nation - without a doubt. But I work at a fucking karaoke bar!!! Come on boys!! Anyway, they went to order another round and I figured since they had enough of their own drugs up their noses, they didn't need any of my drugs out of the vodka bottle. I cut them off and they left not too much after that.

3. Saturday afternoon I headed out to see a play a friend of mine directed. After the show I was waiting around and a random guy comes up to me and says hi. He looked familiar but I wasn't quite sure from where. I asked if we knew each other from the bar and he responded "yeah - I asked you out and you said no".

Awkward silence. Really how does one respond to that comment??

I told the story to The Boy and The Drunk Girl later that evening and their favorite part of the story was imagining me responding to someone with a simple "no".

Guy: "hey would you like to maybe grab dinner some night?"
Mr Bartender: "No"
Mr Bartender walks away and washes glasses

As entertaining as that would have been I doubt it actually played out that way. Despite my annoyance with being put on the spot while I'm working, generally I'm pretty nice in letting someone down.

4. Saturday night at the bar started off with an invasion of lesbians. Generally I don't mind lesbians since they seem to like me and tip better than the stereotype - but the ones in on Saturday were the cheap bitches. I started lining up all the quarter tips out on my bar to keep track of them all. Gradually things picked up and Copperred came by delivering a "hello" from Sean and introduced me to Clickboo. By midnight we finally got busy and it ended up being one of my highest rings ever. Certainly helped make up for the evening before.

There were several guys in the crowd that had me all hot and bothered, but of course they weren't the ones who decided to flirt with me. Nope instead I had two guys attempt to flirt. One was the guy I ran into at the play earlier in the day, he just sat right at my well and STARED which just creeped me out. The second guy waited until I was crazy busy and told me he thinks I'm hot and wants to talk dirty to me but is too shy. Hmmm, apparently with a line like that he's not shy enough....

5. Observation - Karaoke can be a fucking cult. Now don't get me wrong, it can be a lot of fun and I do enjoy it - but my god people take it WAY too seriously. This one girl came in the second we opened on Saturday and started complaining I wouldn't turn on the machine for just her. She explained to me that singing is in her soul, it's why she's here on earth and what she was made for, blah, blah, blah. Come on lady, you're talking about singing cheesy pop songs to a bar full of drunks - this is not your life's work. And she was just one of the mild ones, there are plenty of other karaoke freaks out there - people who come in with 500 count CD binders full of their own karaoke CDs, people who sneak behind the bar to adjust the equalizer to best match their voice, people that, in attempt to bump their song up sooner, will scan over the karaoke list to report when a person has signed up too many times in hopes we'll take that person off the list, people who will walk into the bar and immediately sign up for a karaoke song before ordering a drink, people that try to get a refund on their drink because the karaoke host has cut off the list for the night, claiming the only reason they ordered a drink was because they though they could sing. Oh and don't even get me started on the musical theater kids....can I tell you how much I'm dreading RENT coming out on film, if for no other reason than the revival of endless horrible renditions of "One Song Glory" and "Seasons of Love" aka 525,600 reasons to slit my wrists....


At 6:35 PM, Blogger Dale said...

Always a pleasure to say hi, unfortunately I was a bit ummm under the influence of liquid courage and couldn't stay for any significant amount of time.

Foot fetishes are wicked icky, one time I socialized with such a gentleman, and as soon as he said he wanted to lick my toes I knew it was over....

At 11:48 PM, Anonymous copperred said...

I remember 20 years ago, my dad came back from Japan with tales of what drunk Japanese men do after work. They sang along to words on a TV screen. I thought what could be more insane, those Japanese will try anything; it'll never catch on. Oh how wrong was I.

I'm sorry I missed the potential of you singing Liz Phair, which as reported to be very entertaining.

And the foot guy? Well if it makes you feel better a guy I hooked up with last year left with a friend on Saurday, and in his downward gaze I caught the lust he once expressed for my feet. Thank goodness he had a great ass to make up for it...

At 10:27 AM, Blogger Dudley said...

Feet are effin nasty. Now I know it takes all kinds, and diversity is all cool and sh*t in that After School Special sort of way, but seriously, feet?! Can we discuss the scope of hygiene issues that are applicable here?!


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