In Loving Memory - iPod

Some Haiku's I wrote for my deceased iPod, and one for the arrival of the new one

Goodbye to iPod
I miss you ever so much
Without you I'm lost

Oh my dear iPod
I'll remember you always
Thanks for the music

Video iPod
You are being shipped to me
I hope you play porn

I'd like to take a moment to reflect on the memories of my recently deceased iPod. He had only been with me for 8 months, but in that short period of time I had experienced a love unlike any other.

My relationship with iPod started off a bit shaky. In fact, I was resistant to the idea of getting an iPod for quite some time. Friends would say "Mr. Bartender, you of all people NEED to have an iPod" but I felt an iPod reeked of corporate pop commercialism. I wasn't going to be swayed by this trend.

But come Valentines Day the incredibly sweet guy I was dating at the time brought an iPod into my world. When the iPod and I first met I was unable to use him. My computer was a crappy Pentium I that could barely run Win 98. But thanks to Mrs. Jesus I was able to load my iPod up with some favorite songs and begin to develop a relationship with him. Within an hour all of my doubts about an iPod were gone. I had found a new love in my life, in the palm of my hand. This new love so dominated my thoughts that one week after getting him I jumped out to buy a brand new computer just so he could I could feed him the music he wanted from the comfort of my own home.

iPod and I went everywhere together. He would accompany me at work, singing little songs to me to get me through my day. He would join me at the gym giving me the motivation to make it through that last rep, or the final 15 minutes on the elliptical. He would come with me to the bar and make friends with the soundboard, giving me a much needed break from the cheesy pop sounds I was forced to listen to all night. He knew what I liked, and how to please me.

Sadly he begin to show signs of an illness a couple months after we started with our life together. It started off as small things - his click wheel would occasionally be slow for a day. Then it started getting worse - sometimes at the end of a song he would attempt to play another but try as he might he just couldn't do it. He would end up passing out, only to be revived by a system reset.

Then about a month ago he went into a coma. He became unresponsive to my computer and was unable to take a new songs. He even had trouble playing songs on his own. I grew quite concerned, but after a week he seemed to improve. That is until yesterday when all hell broke loose. I arrived at work and he started skipping. He couldn't make it through a single song, he tried and he tried and then he froze. Worried, I quickly reset him and got a folder of trouble.

I reset him again

and again

and again

I grew concerned and a tear welled in my eye. By the time I had arrived home his condition had not improved at all. I connected him to the computer and attempted a complete reinstall. It had failed....at 8:33 PM, he was pronounced dead.

(a moment of silence please)


*sigh*

*tear*

I miss him so much already and it's only been a day. My boss was blasting opera music out of his office yesterday and I had no iPod to save me and my ears. At the gym "the talkers" felt I was one of them and tried to get me stuck in conversation. My walk to work in the rain was so quiet that my subconscious became a jukebox of crappy music in his absence. Random songs that I hate popped into my head for no reason - why oh why is Michael Jackson's "Black or White" in my mind?? Help me!!!!

So iPod as you walk through those pearly gates of iPod heaven, please think of me fondly. I enjoyed our many hours together. You were more than a lover, you were a friend. I leave you with some words from Patty Griffin's "Long Ride Home" to describe how I'm feeling without you. I know you loved that song (and all 4 versions of it I gave you) as much as I do.

"Headlights searching down the driveway
The house as dark as it can be
I go inside and all is silent
and feels as empty as the inside of me"