Friday, January 13, 2006

Never Nude vs. Always Nude

Earlier this week I read this blog about annoyance with people who are afraid to get naked at the gym - or as they'd be called on Arrested Development - Never Nudes. While I admit that these people get far too sensitive about being naked, they aren't really annoying to me - if anything I find them mildly amusing. No, the people that bother me aren't the Never Nudes, it's the Always Nudes.

Every gym has one or two of these guys and I've seen much more of them lately. New Years doesn't just bring out the people ashamed of their bodies, it also brings out the people who love to flaunt it - whether they should or not. This week I've seen the following:

* A guy who wears short shorts and no underwear. In between sets I looked around and saw him stretching/doing abs on the mat. His balls were in clear view for all to see - smooth and wrinkly like the rest of him.

* A guy hanging out naked and semi-hard in the locker room when I arrived at the gym and still there lingering by the time i finished working out. He was never spotted doing any actual form of work out - in fact, by the looks of things he hadn't actually worked out for at least 20 some years....

* Two separate guys that felt the shower curtain was too prohibiting so they left them wide open. While watching a guy get all wet and soapy can be hot in the right circumstances - this was not one of them. Seriously I don't want the soapy water from washing your ass to be splashing on me as I'm walking on by. Not so hot...

And the thing about all of these guys is that they weren't exactly what I'd consider attractive. Every single one of them was 50 or above and over weight. One had a bush so thick that it covered all but for the very very tip of his penis. Now far be it from me to judge too harshly on body-types because I by no means am claiming to have a flauntable body myself - but the difference is I'm not flaunting mine. I work out, get naked, shower, get clothed and go home. If you wanna flaunt what you don't necessarily got, you should "workout" over at the Crew Club - who know you may even get laid.

Bottom line is the Never Nudes need to give the Always Nudes some of their modesty, and the Always Nudes need to give some of their misguided self-image to the Never Nudes.


At 7:29 PM, Blogger aklsdjhfa said...

"Seriously I don't want the soapy water from washing your ass to be splashing on me as I'm walking on by."


At 12:03 PM, Blogger Parker Livingston said...

there's an always nude guy who works out at the results on u street who's always shaving, moisturizing, etc. with just a t-shirt on and nothing else. his cock is like a baby's arm and i guess he wants everyone to see. you're right. guys like this are worse than the never nudes.


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