Another bad date....
As you may recall from a previous post, I have recently agreed to go on a date despite my not looking to date status. This was agreed upon given the stipulation that the guy knew upfront I wasn't wanting a relationship.
This date proved to be a mistake...
First of all I was semi-dreading the date after said gentleman caller had made apperances in my bar both Friday and Saturday night and stared at me. Seriously, if I tell you I have issues with taking things too fast do you think staring at me in my bar two nights in a row is the best way to reassure me you won't be one of those guys??
Anyway, as I said, I was semi-dreading the date tonight. I emailed him to make plans and suggested we meet up at 8:00 and offered three restaurant options to choose from and asked him to make up his mind. He replied saying he'd call me on his way over and we'd pick a restaurant from there.
At 7:15 I get a text message to say he's on his way and that he'll call me to confirm location in a little bit. Now given he lives WAY out in Virgina - past Dulles - so the 45 minute commute didn't phase me.
Although it looks like he should have given himself more time. When 8:00 hit and I hadn't heard from him I got annoyed. So I call him. He asks me what I'm up to, and we discuss where to eat. We decide on a location and he casually mentions he'll get into the city in about 20 minutes and will call me as he gets close.
Eh, what? We chose 8:00 to meet up and it's at 8:00 you decide to tell me you're running 20 minutes late? *sigh* whatever. We are already off to a bad start....
Shortly after 8:20 he calls me and says he's just about there and doesn't apologize for being late, but rather starts with excuses. Apparently his grandmother (who he lives with rent free) ended up chatting his ear off as he was trying to go out the door and since she's losing it a bit he had to entertain her.
Okay in my rule book if I know I'm running late I give the person a call BEFORE the scheduled time we are supposed to meet. I do not wait for them to call to find out what's going on. Secondly, when we do speak for me to inform the guy that I'm running late the first words out of my mouth are "I'm really sorry" not "ugh, my grandma woudln't stop talking". I don't wanna hear excuses, I want you to say I'm sorry....
So we finally meet up and things are not horrible but they aren't good either. Maybe it's because I'm already pissed but there was absolutely no chemistry what-so-ever. It didn't help that we went to a restaurant where the head chef was black and when I commented that my roasted chicken was good he said "yeah, well they do know how to do fried chicken right". ugh.... i bit my tounge so hard it almost bled. I think he senese he had crossed a line though because conversation became a bit tense after that....
When we parted ways he didn't ask for a second date, just mentioned he'd see me at the bar on Friday. Without being asked out again I never really found a way to issue the "eh, I don't think a second date would be a good idea".
Within a minute of being home I had a text message telling me that I'm "awesome".
As "awesome" as I am, I'm SOOO glad that my "awesome" ass is sleeping alone tonight...
posted by Mr. Bartender @ 11:41 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
How funny. Not to trumph your story, but I have to share a similar experience:
I had been set up on a blind date with a guy by a friend. I was reluctant to accept because 1.) I'd had a boyfriend and 2.) that's just embarrassing. However, when a previous relationship went to crap and I was just in the "screw this" mode, I agreed to meet the guy, and when I did, he subsequently asked me out.
Our first date was on a Sunday night. Bad signs starting there. We had decided on a movie - a movie I was very much looking forward to seeing - and we decided he'd pick me up in enough time so we could catch the previews (they're the best part! Oh, and he wasn't even going to pick me up, I had to *suggest* it to him).
Now, I lived about 20 minutes from the nearest theater, and as I'm neurotic about getting a middle/middle seat (middle of theater/middle of row), I always leave a good 30 min. for "settling in" time. Yes, even for a Sunday night movie that's already been out for a while.
He was supposed to pick me up at 7 for an 8 o'clock movie. He got to my house at 7:50. No phone call. When he walked through my door, I greeted him and expect SOMETHING: an apology, and explanation, and excuse--anything really would have sufficed. But instead he shot the breeze with my daddy about the Red fish mounted above our fireplace.
HELLO! The movie is 10 minutes from start time and we're 20 minutes from the theater. Dumbass.
So, I figured he was just embarrassed to be late for our first day (I would be), so I guessed as soon as we got into the car he would blurt out an apology. Instead, I got:
"So, what do you think?"
Um, about what? The fact that you were 50 minutes late and didn't call, or the fact that you're NOW leaving the decision up to ME as to what we're going to do because your ass was LATE?
"Um, I guess let's try to make the movie."
"Okay."
From there it went downhill (as if it could go any further). He talked to me throughout the movie, making comments he THOUGHT was clever, but instead, just irritated me to death. I love movies. If he had listened to me, he would have know that. And therefore, he would have KNOWN that I HATE when people talk and kick my seat whilst I'm trying to enjoy. At least he didn't kick my seat.
We managed to make the movie in enough time to catch up on what was going on. It turned out to be a not-so-impressive film, which irked me even further.
Since I am not one to be an immediate Debbie Downer (although I was getting there...), I agreed to go somewhere else with him. After all, maybe he had a good reason to be so late and talk constantly throughout the movie. Maybe, but probably not. "Just give it a chance, just give it a chance" I said to myself.
So, he chose to take me to play darts. Fine by me, I've always enjoyed non-sports sports*. So, we go to a local sports bar, and upon walking in, I was nearly choked to death by the low, ominous cloud of cigarette smoke that crept its way around my poor body.
"Would you like something to drink?"
The thought, "Dear God, yes, anything to get me to tone the tenseness down a notch" was instead replaced with,
"Sure, that'd be nice."
"I used to be a bartender, let me guess your drink."
Internally, "Gah, fine, whatever, just hurry up and return with the damn alcohol already."
Externally, "Oh...that'd be fun."
Drinks in hand, we begin a 10 game Cricket and 301 Spree. I kicked his butt twice (which, knowing how he turned out to be, satisfies me to no end now...he's got a rather high opinion of himself).
I proceed to get to the extremely tipsy/early drunken stage. He was seemingly becoming a nicer guy (but I now know it was the alkeehol trickery).
He kept me out, knowing full well I had to work the next day, until 2AM. Of course, I take partial blame. I could have said that I would like to go home, I had an early day the next day, but I was having fun beating him in darts, and I was getting free drinks and not having to drive. Stupid decision on my part.
Conclusion: I woke up the next morning and had to call in sick for about 2 hours to recover. And I don't even think it was the alcohol that made me sick, but the thought of said suitor.
Because I'm sometimes insecure, I decided to give him a second (and third...) chance, and found him to be 15% a nice guy, and 85% in love with himself. If I had to hear ONE more story about his buldging muscles or his incredible athletic abilities, I MIGHT throw up.
He's not the kind of guy that would have the girl end things with HIM. No, no, remember? He's much too GOOD for that. And muscle-esque. So, despite increasing the return-his-call days, and finally, altogether NOT answering his calls or phoning him back, he STILL calls me to this day. And his messages?
"Hey girl! Call me, we'll go work out. Today's a GREAT day for legs! You'll hate me by the end of our workout!"
The end of our workout? I'm afriad it's too late.
Generally I find that those who are willing to let you down on small things like this will also have no problem letting you down on much larger things as well....
I hate going out with a guy when I'm already pissed at the situation, no matter what he does from that point on I'm in turbo bitch mode.... and lurking about all up in your place of employment?? tragic.
Okay in my rule book if I know I'm running late I give the person a call BEFORE the scheduled time we are supposed to meet. I do not wait for them to call to find out what's going on. Secondly, when we do speak for me to inform the guy that I'm running late the first words out of my mouth are "I'm really sorry" not "ugh, my grandma woudln't stop talking". I don't wanna hear excuses, I want you to say I'm sorry....
OMG! Thank you! And Amen, Sister! I don't know how or why it became acceptable amongst Gay men to arrive whenever one darn well feels like it, but... Maybe if enough of us revolt, nah, who am I kidding it ain't ever gonna change...
-- Jack (HotBitchN's roommate)
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