Guide to Flirting With and Dating A Bartender

I was browsing through the blog stats today and noticed that someone came to our site from a MSN Search for "dating a bartender".

First I would like to issue an apology to that person as I'm sure the answer they were searching for was not found on this site. Secondly, since it appears MSN believes Team Lady has the answers for dating a bartender I should provide the public (and MSN) what they are clearly craving for.

So here we go :

Mr. Bartender's Guide to Flirting With and Dating a Bartender

1) Stop using MSN Search, switch to Google. Okay, okay it has nothing to do with dating a bartender, but it's a basic life lesson this person has not learned yet, so it need to be stated. Google is oodles better and has fun things like interactive maps, toolbars, etc.

2) Don't Misread Signals - So they bartender smiles at you and is always really friendly and occasionally gives you a drink for free - he must be interested in you, right? Possibly, but there's a damn good chance he's just being a good bartender and trying to keep you coming on into his bar. Remember he makes his money by being nice to people and having those people in turn give him a nice tip. The normal cues that someone is interested in you can not be applied to the bartender.

3) Tip Him Well - If you want to get the bartender's attention the best way to do so is to leave a big tip. There's no need to be obscene about it but a simple extra dollar a drink will always be noticed by a good bartender. If you're not financially in a place to leave an extra tip, you're not out of the running - just be sure not to leave a shitty tip. Even if I think you're the hottest guy in the world I'll be damned if I'm gonna date someone who only tips a quarter. With bad manners like that how could I be seen with him in public?

4) Ask Yourself If He Is Worth It - If the bartender you're crushing on works at your favorite neighborhood bar be sure he's worth it before you make your move. Let's say you go on a date only to have things end on a bad note. Now every time you step into the bar it's going to be awkward and weird. Never ruin a good time at your favorite bar for any guy...

5) Don't Put Him On The Spot - It's never a good idea to ask the bartender on a date while he's working. No matter if he's interested or not it's going to be an uncomfortable moment. The second you pose the question there are 20 other ears that perk up around the bar to see how he's gonna respond. Make the situation less of a public display by discreetly slipping your phone number/email on a note along with your tip. If he's interested he'll call.

6) Let Him Do His Job - Bartending is like playing host to a party, you can't just talk to the guests you want to talk to, you have to talk with everyone - even the annoying ones. So as much as he may WANT to talk to you, he's not always able to. If you're telling him a story don't get offended if he's looking around the bar to see if anyone wants another drink or he walks away from you mid sentence. It's nothing personal, he's just trying to pay his bills.

7) Don't Hang Out In His Bar Nonstop - If you progress to the point where you start dating the bartender, give him some space. As much as he may enjoy seeing you, he's not able to enjoy your company the way he'd like to. As we just discussed in #6 he won't be able to maintain good conversation with you, and having you stare at him all night will make him uncomfortable and it just plain reeks of insecurity.

8) Don't Get Jealous - The bartender's job is to be nice and friendly with people and get them liquored up. As mentioned in #2 many people misread these signals as flirting and will hit on the bartender. At no point are you to ever confront one of his customers about hitting on "your man". The customers are his bread and butter, they pay his bills - it is the bartender's sole decision how to handle people flirting with him. I know the stereotype is that bartenders get around, and yeah some do, but there are two types people in the world 1) people who cheat 2) people who don't cheat. If you're dating someone who cheats it doesn't matter if they are a bartender or not - they gonna cheat on you. If you're dating someone who doesn't cheat just because they are a bartender and have more opportunities presented to them doesn't mean they are going to stray from you.

For me personally I can not imagine hooking up with someone after my shift. Our bar closes at 3:00 AM, after cleaning & closing the bar for an hour I'm ready to leave at 4:00 AM. I smell like an ashtray, I feel disgusting, and I'm exhausted. There is very little I'm interested in other than curling up in my bed.

So for those afraid of dating a bartender because you hear they're sluts, I'd say put that fear to rest. Find out who the person is and go from there.

That's all I can think of for now....am i forgetting anything??