Printer Rules

Here are two quick rules that should be adhered to when using a communal office printer. I would like to believe that these rules wouldn't have to be spelled out, but two coworkers this week had proved me wrong.

#1. When printing out personal information (i.e. the receipt for the prescription drugs you ordered online) it is highly advised that you obtain your print out immediately and do not leave it at the printer for several hours. You never know who may stumble upon that information...

#2. If you stumble upon a print out that contains sensitive and personal information about a coworker, discretely deliver the paper to them or leave at the printer and pretend you never read it. It is not acceptable behavior to immediately show others nearby that your coworker is taking antidepressants & Valtrex. Aside from giving yourself bad karma by just being kinda cruel - you're probably not gonna score points from the people you show it to. Honestly I could do without the mental image of a 50 something year old vagina with herpes....

That is all for now.

Thank you

Last Call

This is your last call for a calm and sane workout at the gym...



Yes kids, January 1st is swiftly approaching and with it comes the flood of New Years Resolutions that turn your local sports club into an absolute madhouse.

When walking into the gym be ready to settle for the small & tiny lockers as all the spacious long ones have already been taken. If you want to stick to your standard routine*, be prepared to spend an hour and a half to do what would normally take you 45 minutes. Be ready to wait patiently as everywhere you turn the same person manages to be using the equipment you want to use, half-assed gliding through every set clearly using less weight than would be challenging for them. Brace yourself for the sad locker room moment when you realize that the showers with amazing water pressure are all taken, and you have to settle for the one that sputters out cold water in small penis-shrinking drips.

Fortunately, this period of gym insanity lasts only about a month and a half as most of these New Years resolutions were made for all the wrong reasons. Feelings of "I really should workout" fade as new episodes of Wife-Swap begin reairing. Gradually the great lockers, equipment and shower stalls become more available again, and life returns to normal.

Until then however, January is going to be a LONG month....


* if you want to spice up your routine with some different exercises click here to download some free iPod friendly training videos - 80+ routines available!

The Chinese make a killing off the Christians one day a year...

As I figured out today, ATL all but shuts down on the day our Lord, Christ Jesus, was born 2,005 years ago (a nod to Mr. Bartender's artistic rendering posted earlier). Born of hunger and stir-craze, me and my brother jumped in the car at 1:04pm only to pull in to my grandfather's driveway seconds down the street to steel a dozen eggs half an hour later. You might have guessed--everything was shut down with edibles. We were forced to improvise. Omelettes it was. Shredded cheese and tomatoe were our only additives.

In the Bible belt's defense (they can surprise you with their open minded ways from time to time) not all their establishments observe this Christian holiday. Blockbuster was open. Dunk'n Donuts was as well. I think Chick Filet has the entire week off.

Anyhoo, fast forward a few hours and we were once again hungry and stir-crazed. All four of the family fandango loaded in the car in search of sustanance and distraction. Wouldn't you know the only establishment opened (aside from the movie theater) was Emperor's Palace 2 (why is it that Chinese restaurants number their establishments to indicate a chain). Like a beacon of light on a treacherous cliff, the neon lights with Buddha smiling in the window welcomed us. Dad swears the MSGs in Chinese food will put all of America to sleep one day and that's when America will pay terribly for the sins we've committed on the world.

Meanwhile, we were looking for some good gluttenous fun. It took me a while to realize that Buddha was born in April (at least that's what historians tell us) and that's why Chinese don't observe this blessed day as me and my family do and therefore have no qualms in making a quick buck off of us either. I'd be interested to know how their sales tonight compare to any other night in our Calendar year. New Year's day is no doubt their second highest grossing day of the year (yeah, it took me a moment to deduce they don't share our New Year either).

At any rate, we left there feeling a little stupid, having eaten so much (another mental note: Chinese restaurants always have a fish tank at the front register with nothing in it).

I'm at home now and ready to fall fast asleep. Did I mention I love holiday boredom? It was so greatly needed.

Happy Holidays and other statements to piss Bill O'Riley off...

yes kids, it's offically Christmas and Mr. Bartender is a tad bit intoxicated...surprise, surprise :)

Despite the annoying girl at the start of the night who felt it should be busier because "gay people don't have families to go to" (*sigh*) the bar crowd was slow tonight, but full of good peeps that managed to keep a smile on my face all night long.

Mrs. Jesus came in briefly to help get the night started off, but headed out early to prep for our Christmas celebrations the following day. Meanwhile, as he departed the sexiest and hippest of the gay blog crowd made their way in to say hello, under what I assume to be the recommendation of Mr. Show himself. With Chemistry Lad by his side they fought hard to claim the title of hottest couple of the night, and ended up tying with these boys . All four of these guys manage to send Mr. Bartender's heart all aflutter every time he sees them...

Also in attendance was the charming carl , headwound gymnest, Clickboo with his native Iowan turned New Yorker friend, and John from Beaverhausen with his man Jaime. John and Jaime unfortunately had family to entertain the next day so didn't get to stay out quiet as late as the rest - but it was great seeing them nonetheless....

Anyway, wanted to thank everyone who stopped in tonight for helping make the night so wonderful. I'm glad we could ring in Christmas together :)

On a side note, for Christmas this year I've thrown together a little mix CD to give to all my peeps along with their Christmas presents....it's a collection of all the mellow (aka - depressing) songs that's I'm kinda digging for one reason or another at the moment... the cover-song happy tracklisting is as follows:

01. Everything But The Girl - Single
02. Girlyman - This Is Me
03. Ben Folds - Side of the Road
04. Denison Witmer - East From West
05. Patty Griffin - Moon River
06. Neko Case - I Wish I Was the Moon
07. Dar Williams with Ani DiFranco - Comfortably Numb
08. Eric Himan - Holding Back The Years
09. Leona Naess - Christmas
10. Lucinda Williams - Sharp Cutting Wings (Songs to a Poet)
11. Nickel Creek - Why Should The Fire Die
12. Bob Mould - Days of Rain
13. Jeff Klein - The 19th Hole
14. Tegan and Sara - Divided
15. Aimee Mann - Video
16. Tristan Prettyman - Guest Check
17. Ben Harper - Mary
18. Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins - Melt Your Heart
19. Shelby Lynne - Rainy Night In Georgia

Let me know if any of y'all are interested in a copy....all i ask in return is that if you dig any of the stuff you hear that you go out and buy a cd or two and/or check these peeps out in concert next time they swing by town....

alright, mr. intoxicated bartender is gonna call it a night....hope you all out there in blogland are having a wonderful holiday....

Santa Died For Your Sins...

Allison Janey sat next to me on my flight home...

I am always and will be forever amused by travel humor, in particular around the holidays, even further when it involves me. Even the idea of people being hurded, in mass, to destinations across country within spaces that clearly challenge the Western World's notion of personal space, is enough to write books about (I'm sure David Sedaris has something up his sleave if he hasn't pontificated over the matter already).

So there I am already in my second hour of journeying. My entire journey from start to finish was 7.5 hours long. Yes, I flew. No, no one drove my ass to Dulles. In fact, no one picked my ass up when I landed in ATL either. I'm not bitter. METRO and her fucked up loosy-goosy cloned sibling, MARTA, were both there to greet me on either end. We were an awkward menage a trois. One word of advice to aspiring rapid transit authorities across the nation--we want a subway, not a fairy ride on the monorail at Disney World. Less chairs. More handle bars. No fucking tokens. NY, consider yourselves lucky taking the walk this week.

But back to my second hour in route.

The last person to climb aboard the Washington Flyer was a young woman, presumably of college age (for those not lucky enough to have traveled the Flyer, this is what comes at the very tippy end of the world when you are forced travel to the other planet, named Dulles, to catch a flight out of Washington). I notice the women's frantic demeanor, as was mine, in trying to make three bags fit overhead without sitting on the face of the person just below who hadn't clued in to your arrival because their i Pod is already going full blast and they've safely made it into their zone not knowing that you are just about to violently interrupt it. So, she finally sits down, excuses herself to a man sitting to her left and then quietly begins to cry (I notice all of this because, little does she know, her reflection I can make out perfectly in the black plexy glass that is situated in front of her, separating her from the driver).

I was a few rows back and I immediately begin to choke up too. It was a moment, I guess. At any minute, Hugh Grant's voice could have come over the loudspeaker, talking crazy about sitting in aiports and watching love all around us and shit. It was also one of those moments where I wanted to hold and be held. Thank god the older man sitting next to her was just at the propper age to apply physical comfort without coming across as the "dirty old man" or "something must be wrong with you" type.

I watched their interactions. At first it was just conversations, talking while looking straight ahead, assuming the other was listening. Then there were nods and soon their heads tilted a little inward, each one catching glimpses while the other wasn't looking. It appeared as if they were genuinely enquiring about each other. I heard work, a major in this and a minor in that, upstate Massachusettes and Florida pandhandle. I'd like to think they might have actually been enjoying the brief comfort of each other, scratching at the thought of Providence, who had decidedly smiled upon them during an otherwise horrid commute.

After my Wahington Flyer experience I became a little more comfortable about the close proximity of people that day, otherwise disconnected were it not for one saving grace--a single and most important common denominator to consider--we are all in this fucking thing together!

Oh, and Independence Air it touting celebrity voiced instructions to spice up their "in case of emergency" routine before wheels-up. Allison Janey taught me how to put an oxygen mask on in case the cabin looses pressure in high altitude. God, I love Christmas. It's just so damn decadent!

Open Letter to 2006

Dear 2006,

I just wanted to write you a quick note to let you know I’m anxiously awaiting your arrival. While your predecessor, 2005, was fairly kind to me, she was a bit harsh to many of those around me. As her reign in office comes to an end I look at some people close to me and see them in a lot of pain. I ask that you treat them with more benevolence than she did. You may not be able to undo all the problems that 2005 created, but please spare them any further hardships. Oh and if it’s not too much to ask, a miracle or two for K would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance…

Humbly yours,

Mr. Bartender

Newest Member

Let me take a quick moment to introduce you all to our newest blog-member - Sassypants. He's fun luvin' and an all around good guy. Be on the lookout for a post from him with in the next day or two.

Until then I direct you to gmail's most recent recommendation to me - Tigress Luv and her fail-proof method to "Stop Your Break Up and Get YOUR Partner Back in YOUR Arms Where They Belong!" Something tells me Chapter 1 revolves around slashing exboyfriend's tires and late night threatening phone calls....

Weekend Review

Friday night was the celebration of my karaoke host's birthday. Now mama likes to refer to our bar as her trailer park so when Durban Bud blogged about these dolls I just knew mama needed both Trash Talking Turleen and Little Miss Guzzler. Maybe she was just humoring me, but she appeared to love them both.

Friday night also brought about a going away party for a coworker of mine at my day job and the surprise appearance of Mrs. Jesus, our LA Friend, Sassypants and The Boy. It was great to have so many people I love in the bar. Although The Boy ended up experiencing a rather awkward moment. He met a guy and was chatting with him for awhile, he ordered a round from me and returned to the guy and his friends. About 5 minutes later he returned saying "lady I have far too much respect for myself to put up with that." Apparently when he returned with drinks the guy and his friends were laughing and confessed it was at The Boy's expense. When asked for elaboration they told this story about this kid they picked up awhile back who was a tragic mess and they decided on the way home to "stop by Walmart to buy him a pillow to bite on while we took turns fucking him". An apprehensive Boy asked the obvious question "and what does this have to do with me?" Their response was "oh we planned on doing the same to you tonight". *sigh* some shady motherfuckers out there.....

Anyway the rest of the evening went on and all seemed to go fine until we left the bar to discover mama's car had gotten broken into. What did the thugs feel was so necessary to break mama's window for? Money - nope, CDs - nope, duffel bag full of drag clothing - yup!!! another *sigh* and I repeat there are some shady motherfuckers out there...

Saturday I woke up earlier than normal in order to meet up with the gang to catch Brokeback Mountain. Now the first thing that struck me was just how poorly the in-theater advertisers did at targeting their audience. Seriously do we need to start the film with an Army recruitment ad? I really don't think the average demographic watching a gay themed movie in a gay neighborhood is the kind of people the Army is actively recruiting. Following the Army plug was an advertisement that started off as "from the lead singer of the hit group Creed" and an agitated groan broke out among the crowd. Seriously the Army ad was annoying enough, but Christian rock? Now you're pushing the limits....

Anyway the movie was really really good, but I didn't love it as much as I thought I was going to. I think with all of the hype I expected to be sobbing uncontrollably at the end. It was incredibly sad, but I didn't shed any tears. Some minor complaints - I would have liked to have seen more of their early relationship where they first fall for each other. Hot rough sex is pretty great and all, but I would have liked to see more of the initial bond than that. Oh and speaking of the sex scene, they sure figured out their roles quite quickly!! One second they have this kiss me, don't kiss me thing going on and then bam a quick spit for lube later and heath is fucking jake. I've never seen a top/bottom question resolved so quickly in my life...

Anyway, even though it wasn't quite up to the hype (but honestly with that much hype can you really live up to it??) it was a damn good film...highly recommended....

That evening there was a birthday party for one of the regulars. Now while birthday girl and her girlfriend are great and I adore them, their friends weren't exactly winning much of my love.... Copperred was in that night and looked in shock as person after person dropped a quarter or nothing at all. It can be rough to stay in a good mood when you're getting consistent shitty tips, but luckily being able to joke with him and mama about it helped keep me upbeat. Things got even better when Sean and Headwound Gymnest came in to finish the evening off. Sean delighted the crowd with some karaoke and treated me to several shots of Bushmills. That in addition to the alcohol already consumed earlier that evening meant that by closing time I was a tad intoxicated. The manager looked at me and said "um, are you drunk?" and I smiled and said "oh yeah...i'm not even gonna try and hide that from ya..." he just smiled and carried on his business...

Sunday I woke up earlier than normal again so Mrs. Jesus and I could meet up with LA friend for one final brunch before he headed back to the West Coast. After brunch we headed off to the airport and said our goodbyes. I was really sad to see him go. Every time he comes to visit it feels as though he never left, he just fits so perfectly with our group of friends. I keep trying to convince him to move back here, but the cold DC winter was kinda hurting my cause…

That evening I went back to the bar to see mama in her birthday variety show. Despite having her wardrobe stolen from her car from her she did a remarkable job! Unfortunately she didn’t realize her shoes were yanked as well until an hour before she went on stage…like a true pro though she carried on shoeless and still managed to dazzle the crowd… Happy Birthday Mama!!

Monday I woke up to the alarm clock and immediately decided it was time to call in sick to work. After the non-stop nature of the prior week (and the flu shot given mid week) I was exhausted and completely worn down. I spend yesterday catching up on some much needed sleep, much needed housecleaning and even ventured outdoors briefly to work on some much needed holiday shopping…. I’m still no where near close to ready for Christmas…

Here's a must read for today....

Having grown up Catholic - complete with 12 years of Catholic school - I have to agree with Dinger on what he says. While religion provides a valuable resource for some, it is the greatest mind control device ever imagined.

Seriously if you want to convince someone to do something really awful, like oh say fly a plane into a building, you're gonna need a pretty strong argument. A promise of eternal happiness and oodles of young virgins in the afterlife is a pretty damn good bargaining chip to offer.

But let's ignore the extreme, let's go to the every day. When my dad was just a baby my biological womanizing grandfather left my grandma and the 8 kids behind. He flat out walked out on her and left her alone. Being a devout Catholic she went to the only remaining source of strength that she knew of - her faith. In return she was told that had she been a better wife her husband would still be around. The divorce was finalized but not annulled by the Catholic church - and that meant my grandmother had committed a sin. She was unable to receive the sacraments at her church.

The one moment in her life that she needed the church the most, they turned their backs on her. And despite how awful they treated her and everything that had transpired, she still holds the Catholic faith as her solid rock - even above her family. Whatever the Pope tells her to believe she does without question - the Church is infallible. In her eyes my sister and I are committing sins because we are both gay and not restricting our lives to ones of abstinence. It's just one of those things we both had to accept - no amount of debate would change her mind because her mind hasn't been made by her, it's been made by the church. It's scary the amount of absolute power religion holds over people.

(on a side note, it wasn't until the mid eighties that the church finally annulled her first marriage and accepted the marriage of her second husband (the only guy I've known as my grandfather). That means that in the church's eyes my parents were married before my grandparents were - it's an odd thought)

Anyway, I'll close with a link to another tale of just how obnoxious the religious zealots can be.....

Thank you weather.com

for informing me that it's snowing out...

you provided me useful information while i'm stuck under the fluorescent glow of this windowless office.

transbuddha gems....

...some gems from Transbuddha :


* okay not wanting to pimp out Starbucks or anything, but you gotta admit this commercial is pretty damn funny

* Give The Jew Girl Toys Sarah Silverman cuddling with Santa - is that a ball gag in his mouth??

* I know this puts my humor right back at middle school but sometimes fart jokes are funny, especially when they involve evangelists...

Newbies, Bad Tippers and Birthday Surprises

Friday and Saturday nights at the bar were rough....it was a slow weekend filled with some pretty bad tippers. A sign of just how rough it was gonna be came early on Friday night by the arrival of my first two customers - a recently out guy and his straight friend. The newbie had gotten rimmed for the first time the night before and was complaining that he couldn't understand why anyone would do that. When asked if it felt good he said "oh god yeah it was amazing but that's so weird, i hope it never happens again". Oh he has much to learn.... Meanwhile straight guy (already drunk) kept insisting he needed some pussy. "yo dude i'm straight, where's the pussy - you said there'd be pussy here, gays are cool and all but like i'm straight...i'm straight man...." eh, yeah sure....the lady doth protest too much, methinks...

Saturday night was just comical in how consistent the no tip or quarter tip became. The most interesting bad tipper was the fake-tip guy. He'd order a drink, get his change and then fumble around in his wallet to appear like he was looking for the right amount to tip me. The second my back was turned he'd run away without leaving a thing. An awful lot of work to avoid looking cheap when in reality it just made him look cheap AND shady.

Bar bullshit aside, the rest of the weekend was amazing. Mrs. Jesus had a little (big) birthday celebration on Sunday which ended up being such a blast. Kudos to everyone who was able to keep it a secret making the perfect surprise party. The highlight of the party was the appearance of our mystery guest who flew in from LA just to be there for Mrs. Jesus' birthday. He's in town all week so Team Lady will most likely be celebrating every night this week.

Yesterday all of Team Lady had already taken off of work in our anticipation of the morning hangover that would ensue. It was quite a good idea. After downing oodles of advil and tums we met up with Prada for some lunch at Paradise Paradiso and shopping around town. Our journey led us to Home Rule, where it appears Mrs. Jesus' favorite porn star is now working. I can just imagine how much their sales have sky rocketed after he started, if for no other reason than being able to say "yeah Tag Adams totally checked me out"...

All in all, it was a great weekend....Happy Birthday Mrs. Jesus - we love you!!

Date Derailed...

So the date last night was so-so I guess...not bad, but not exceptionally good either. By no means was exchanting enough to excuse missing this party or the usual thursday festivities - and probably not good enough to grant another go-around...

We ended up seeing Derailed with Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen (his recommendation - not mine). The movie was as "eh" as the date itself. Highlight of the film was watching Jen rip the clothes off of the ever sexy Clive Owen. Sadly just before she started blowing him the scene gets interrupted by some thug and the audience is treated to what feels like 4 hours of a stale wanna-be thriller. The entire time I was sitting there thinking "Alright Clive, I can deal with a lame plot - just take your shirt off again for me....no? alright, how about you just undo a couple buttons so i can see more of that sexy chest hair? no? alright then, yeah go get your ass kicked again *sigh*

Luckily the diverse characters at the Gallery Place theater succeed where the movie failed - in entertaining me. The only good thing about a bad movie is that you really stop caring if people around you are being rude. So naturally when Clive fucks around on his wife the chorus of "uh-uh"s and "oh no he didn't" from the black girls and gay boys just put a smile on my face.

After the movie it was apparent that my date enjoyed the movie so I played nice and downplayed how awful I thought it was. My "whew was a waste of time and money" turned to "oh well, that was kinda over the top at times but um still, uh...wow that Clive Owens sure is hot". That's when he wanted to know what 'type' of guy I'm attracted to. That's never good question for a first date - obviously I'm attracted to you or I wouldn't be with you right now, don't make me define the things I like that you don't have. Another no-no is to repeatedly ask if the other person is having a good time....once is fine, two is so-so - but around time 10 or 11 I'm about ready to punch ya....

So we parted with a simple kiss and after 5 minutes of being home my phone rang. He wanted to meet up the next day for lunch.

Oh no...

Time to give the whole "eh I don't think this is gonna work" talks....I loathe giving those...at this point I'd prefer to be the rejected than the rejector. At least when you're rejected you can get pissed off and drunk with friends and be done. Being the rejector there's a tinge of guilt everytime you see the guy. Even though you know you have nothing to feel guilty about, it's there....and it sucks....

*yawn*

Is it just me or is anyone else bored with this list of Grammy Nominees? It's nice to see my girl Fiona on there I guess, and yeah nice that Ani got her usual nomination for best album artwork (it'd be even better if they appreciated her actual MUSIC), but overall I'm underwhelmed. Is Mariah really the best we have to offer?

On an unrelated note - google users are smarter and richer than non-users! My favorite part of this article is that it's found on Yahoo :)

oh and unrelated note #2 - looking for a new fabulous day job - forward any leads my way! After all, I'm a google user so I need to get closer to that 60K income level :)

i'm back!

Sorry that I've been a bit slow on the blogfront this week kids, it's been an interesting and busy one. Some points to note:

#1 - Happy B-diddy - Mrs. Jesus has a 30th birthday swiftly approaching!!! Top secret plans are in the works and despite his attempts to figure them out - and several near slips on my part - I think I've done a good job at keeping him in the dark. This shall be a birthday he will not forget...

#2 - Another Straight Girl Rule - this one should be obvious, but apparently it's not. Therefore I have to amend my list to include this - Ladies, when at a gay bar please don't ask "so which one of you bartenders pops pussies?" Actually, how about you don't say that at any bar - gay or straight. Thank you.

#3 - An evening with the straights - last night I went to drop off something to Prada at her bar and walked into the middle of the kickball team drinkathon. Luckily I ran into Chip and decided to have a cocktail or two with him. I had several comments from people on my Threadless shirt, including a guy who asked what team I played on. My natural gut reaction was "oh I'm gay" until it dawned on me he meant which kickball team i played on.

Another threadless fan was this girl who was flirting hardcore with me to no avail. I dropped a few subtle hints about my love of men but she never quite got it - how she missed a key word like "exboyfriend" I'm not sure. I thought about just saying "I'm gay" but decided it against it, not because I was ashamed but because I feared becoming her token gay best friend. After all, it was just a week ago I had met a straight girl and 30 seconds into she said

"you're gay right? well Washington Post says if you have dating problems ask a gay man - so I'll ask you - What am I doing wrong?"

*sigh*

"look I just met you seconds ago - i have no idea what you're doing wrong"

"ah come on...you're gay....what are you first impressions of me...what am I doing wrong"

"i may be gay but i'm also a disaster at relationships....you are asking the wrong guy..."

"so you have no advice?"

"don't rely on stereotypes for dating advice!"

Anyway, last night I wasn't cocktailed enough to endure another one of those conversations so I did my best to just remain ambiguous...

Another girl I met last night - who i adored - was this kick ass blond girl whose name escapes me. She was hard core into kickball and started bitching about obnoxious girls who screech during the games. The minute I heard her complain about the straight girl screech I knew I loved her. We agreed the screech is inappropriate in pretty much any social situation. All in all it was a good night.

#4 - Jarhead Propaganda - for some reason I continue to get emails from this tragic hookup I had in 2001. He was secret service at the time of the hookup and now I think he's a flight marshall or something random like that. Anyway, from time to time he sends me pro Bush/war propaganda. I've tried kindly asking him to not forward these messages, I've tried debating him on the issues, I've tried to just ignore him and hope it'd go away. No such luck. The most recent email he sent me was a video of US soldiers killing some insurgents from their helicopter. Now random forwards are one thing, but seriously I have no interest in receiving footage of your buds killing people. I shot back an email asking "what the fuck is this?" and he replied saying he sent it out to show "they gave them every opportunity before they dusted them" *sigh*

So far so good

Day 1 with snow/ice on the ground:

Mr. Bartender did not fall on his ass on the way to work and he was pleased.

That is all for now.





on an unrelated note,

if downloading copywrited material wasn't illegal I'd tell you all to visit this site to hear the solo CD of Jenny Lewis (lead singer of Rilo Kiley) before it's officially released. I'd follow that suggestion buy encouraging you all to purchase the CD when it comes out if you find you like the material. I'd say songs like "Rise Up with Fists", "The Charging Sky" and "You Are What You Love" should be reason enough to buy the CD. But since downloading such music is illegal I won't encourage that. After all the RIAA clearly knows what they're doing and have the best interests of artists in mind. They don't attack innocent people and things like this aren't funny.

Another Thursday Night!

Last night I met up with the usual suspects for another night out at the Green Lantern. It was one of those evenings where you just keep running into person after person that you only kinda-sorta-know - some for the good and some for the not so good. Luckily despite the few bad seeds, I got the pleasure of interacting with a few peeps I'd like to get to know better, including these gay bloger studs....

And it was a good thing I had a blast last night, found out some uh - interesting news today at work that could mean some changes for yours truly.....

i'm not sure yet if its good change or bad change...

but whatever, as fiona says "be kind to me or treat me mean - i'll make the most of it i'm an extraordinary machine..."

this blog is worthless

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

I feel like I'm in high school again...

World AIDS Day

on a serious note...

So today is World AIDS Day....

For awhile now, I've been contemplating writing an all out personal history for this day. But after I wrote the LONG and detailed posted, I realized it was more of an exorcism of demons than anything that was a required reading for the general public. All that said, for any of those so inclined to know my sad sappy past, you can read that here.

Anyway, no my AIDS day post is going to be a bit on the controversial side I think. In fact I unfortunately feel borderline Republican when I think about these things (and being borderline Republican on ANYTHING gives me an uneasy feeling), but honestly let's get it all out on the table.

To clarify:

I am not writing about HIV infections worldwide

I am not writing about HIV infections from the 80s

I am not writing about HIV infections on the poor & uneducated

I'm not writing about HIV infections from people whose partners cheated on them

No, I am writing about my peers, my community - the single educated gay men whose entire sexual development was framed in a world where HIV was a reality yet continue to engage in unprotected sex.

Why the fuck are we continuing to infect ourselves???

As much as I want to feel nothing but utter compassion for those who fit the above mold and test positive, I've lately been finding myself at a bit of a lack of sympathy. I mean come on, we grew up in an era that by the time our dicks first got hard we knew what HIV was, we knew how to protect ourselves. In this day in age this is NO REASON we should be continuing to become positive...

I don't feel that anyone deserves to get this disease - it's not an issue of morality or karma. HIV is an awful thing, but unfortunately it is an evil reality that exists in the world. This is a fact. Just because a condom is a bitch to use and a monogamous relationship isn't always easy to come by (or wanted) doesn't mean we should trade in our health for a mind blowing orgasm. Come on people!

I compare it to a hard thunderstorm in a wide open field. It's not very wise for a guy to be out there flying his kite in the middle of it. So if he gets struck by lighting I'll feel bad for him, but bottom line - didn't he know better? Why is it so wrong to say, what the fuck were you thinking???

When are we going to take responsibility for our actions???

Maybe I feel so strongly about this because it's been far too personal for me. Maybe it's because someone I was in love with made all the wrong decisions and got bit hard in the ass as a result. Maybe I've seen too many friends fall upon the same fate. Maybe my heart can't take another person I know and care about becoming infected. As hard as I try not to judge these people - my friends and loved ones - I find it so hard to not be angry with them. It bothers me that some of the people that I love wouldn't care enough about themselves to protect themselves.

It bothers me that it seems like more money gets spent on HIV treatment than does HIV prevention. I scoff at such events as Cherry that attempts to raise money for HIV organizations meanwhile promoting a circuit party that probably creates more drug induced HIV infections than it'll ever be able to treat with the money it raises.

In some ways I feel bad for feeling the way I do. I honestly wish nothing more than for a cure to be found and for us to be able to move on. Sex is not the evil at play here. People who engage in sex aren't the evil. HIV is the evil, not people with HIV. But knowing this evil exists in the world I beg of you all to not allow it into your lives. Be safe, wear a condom, have an open relationship if you want but save that most intimate of moments of bareback sex for your partner only, for god sakes protect yourself.

We have already had far, far too many World AIDS Day.....

(serious post over, please join us tomorrow when we return to such topics as skid marks and bad tippers)